I was brought up believing that anything is possible in the home of greatest empire that ever was; if it can be done anywhere, it can be done in Italy, where la vita é bella. But as it turns out, this also applies to politics. Despite the country’s precarious socioeconomic status, Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi keeps doing anything and everything he wants in extreme ways that politicians elsewhere would never dare—the Italian way.

The year I was born, the Italian recovery from the ashes of World War II reached its climax. And, no, I am not referring to my actual birth. In 1987, with bells and whistles, the Ministry of Economy announced the sorpasso: Italy’s GDP had overtaken Britain’s.

Since then, however, it has all been downhill. Italian financial scandals, such as the implosion of the dairy colossus Parmalat have made Enron and WorldCom look like sound companies. Whilst American CEOs appear with aplomb in front of a myriad of courts, dubious Italian executives choose instead to run for office thanks to Berlusconi’s help. Not only did the Prime Minister push a law forcing voters to cast ballots for parties instead of individuals, thus omitting the names of convicted candidates, but, moreover, an eclectic sample of his minions have been accused of covering up the spilled milk from Parmalat.

This type of corruption has been enabled by Berlusconi’s dominance over the Italian media. In the United States, oily contacts between Vice President Cheney and foggy Halliburton still cast dark shadows on Iraqi deserts. And the Republican administration finds close allies in media moguls like Rupert Murdoch and his “fair and balanced” Fox News. But who needs indirect, obscure links? In Italy, Berlusconi saved himself the effort by controlling 90 percent of television broadcasts, directly through his Mediaset, or indirectly, through the state-owned RAI. Furthermore, he repeatedly tried to postpone the elections so that the par condicio law, which gives every candidate equal access to media coverage, did not come into effect.

Of course, Berlusconi also provides comic relief. Several years ago, George W. Bush was criticized for suggesting that God wanted him to be President. But, yet again, Italian politics takes this to the next level. For Berlusconi, a wish from God is insufficient: after equating himself to Napoleon Bonaparte, he went on to say he was like Jesus Christ, a “tireless victim that sacrifices himself for everyone.” Right—after all, he has just been in office for a decade and he is only Forbes’ 25th richest man. Quite appropriately, an opposition politician pointed out how unhappy Jesus’ family must be.

Fortunately, Berlusconi’s 69-year-old heart is as strong as ever. During the Republican Convention some years ago, the soon-to-be Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger commented that his wife refused him sex for two weeks following his public endorsement of Bush. Well, Italian charm proves itself once more: Messiah Berlusconi promised to abstain from carnal relationships till the April elections. For the record, that is over two months of Catholic abstinence.

That pledge might surprise his wife Veronica, but at least she has love songs to make up for it. Former American President Clinton clearly could not multitask, as he produced a jazz compilation only after retiring from the Oval Office. But Berlusconi, to Veronica’s (and our) sheer pleasure, has found time to record not one but two full albums of his touching love songs while in office.

Ultimately, Berlusconi’s miraculous powers are undeniable—especially with the peninsular judicial system. As he loves to assert, he has never been convicted of a crime. But a closer look suggests something rotten in the Italian Civil Code. With perfect timing, the Italian Parliament altered the statute of limitations and narrowed the scope of EU convictions to “protect Italian sovereignty.” Surprisingly, those changes also made Berlusconi untouchable. And emulating any credible Messiah, he comes to the rescue when his close disciples are about to fall victim to courts. Just last year, he presented a bill openly known as “Salva Previti,” which restricted the statute of limitations to save…his pal Cesare Previti.

An aging population, the lowest birth rate in Europe, stagnant growth rates, decreasing exports, low productivity, high regional unemployment, and deficits far beyond EU standards: Italy faces too many challenges for this circus. The April elections are around the corner, but Italy is on the brink of the abyss. Hence, Berlusconi’s antics cease to be amusing, and turn both pathetic and perilous. Hopefully, Romano Prodi, former President of the European Commission and leader of the opposition alliance, will take power away from this media deity and bring some reason to the administration. If not, Berlusconi’s deceptive “Italian way” will finish eroding the last remnants of la dolce vita and push the country even deeper into Dante’s Inferno.



Pierpaolo Barbieri ‘09, a Crimson editoiral editor, lives in Thayer hall.