Meat Loaf
“Bat Out of Hell III: The Monster Is Loose”
(Virgin)

1 Star

An aging Meat Loaf starts off his newest album, “Bat Out of Hell III: The Monster Is Loose” with a typically cryptic chorus. “The monster’s loose/this game is win or lose/sometimes you gotta do it/and show the world you want it all,” belts out the ’Loaf, backed by the sound of nü-metal heavy guitars.

What is this “all” you want exactly, Mr. Loaf? The first “Bat Out of Hell”—released in 1977—featured the international mega-smash-hit “Paradise by the Dashboard Lights,” and has sold 34 million copies worldwide. “Bat Out of Hell II: Back Into Hell”—released in 1993—featured the extremely mysterious/not mysterious at all if you listen closely “I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)” which will forever be immortalized in VH1 Pop-Up Video history.

So now, 13 years later, what exactly is the motivation for “Bat out of Hell III: The Monster is Loose”? The album was originally scheduled to be released without the aid of long-time Meat Loaf partner and composer, Jim Steinman, who also owns the “Bat Out of Hell” trademark. Steinman’s refusal to sell the trademark led to a battle of words and an eventual lawsuit by Meat Loaf, who accused Steinman of attempting to hold up the release through “blackmail and a hold-up.”

Unfortunately, Steinman and the Loaf made good; we would have been much better off if the franchise were still held hostage. The once-campy features of a typical Meat Loaf release—rock opera (Wikipedia says “Wagnerian”) vocals and orchestration, hilarious lyrics, immense sing-a-long possibility—are all absent or poorly done the third time around.

The title track and lead single “The Monster Is Loose” is baffling in a sickening sort of way. It starts of with Rage Against the Machine-esque guitars, creating a bewildering juxtaposition with Meat Loaf’s standard over-singing. This continues for a full, pummeling seven minutes.

The third track on the album is Meat Loaf’s “original” rendition of the Celine Dion hit “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now.” Written by Steinman in 1983, the song was shelved in favor of “I Would Do Anything for Love” until Dion made it her own. Meat Loaf adds absolutely nothing to a song we should never have to hear again anyway.

The lyrics provide an added level of distaste. One track is titled, “If It Ain’t Broke, Break It” and the other, creatively-titled “What About Love” features this poetic gem: “What about love that lasts for ever / what about time to see it through / if you don’t give you just don’t get it / what about love?” It’s almost like he misunderstood that mash-ups are supposed to include sampled snippets of songs and not sampled snipped of bad love lyrics. This could result from the fact that he is still stuck in the ’70s.

Finally, buried 12 songs into the album, the real Meat Loaf of my childhood reappears. “Seize the Night” features the beautiful choir orchestration, strings, and the kind of spot-on vocals that used to make cleaning my room that much more enjoyable. Sadly, it all ends very quickly, and listeners are left with two more dull tracks.

Listen, Meat Loaf: if you’re going to get our hopes up by releasing a sequel to two of the most perfectly awful albums of all time, you better deliver. Otherwise, go back to hell.

—Reviewer Kimberly E. Gittleson can be reached at gittles@fas.harvard.edu