Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny

FUTURE UNCERTAIN

You can break this one down mathematically. 75 percent of it is absolutely wonderful, playing upon humanity’s unconscious trust of movie-trailer-narration voices with gaspingly hilarious results. But the actual clips from the movie, which comprise the other 25 percent, are awful. Hey, Jack Black fell onto his nuts! And now he’s taking a poo in a toilet! I’m a huge devotee of The D, but even I have my trepidations after seeing this.





Turistas

TRAILER TRASH

See, this trailer breaks the First Rule of Sexy-Person Trailers: “Convince the viewer that the Sexy Persons in the trailer are more than just Sexy Persons.” We get about a minute of total jackasses cavorting around Brazil, and then are supposed to be vicariously scared when they find themselves Lost (capitalization intended—J.J. Abrams would be rolling in his cash-filled grave if he were dead) on a strange island and are tortured. See, even in the space of about two minutes, I already want them dead. I also want J.J. Abrams dead, but that’s for screwing up “Alias.”





Key:

TRAILER TRASH Awful.

FUTURE UNCERTAIN Enh?

CELLULOID GOLD Awesome!

Warning: Quality of trailer does not necessarily denote quality of film.