Time and again this page has bemoaned the woeful attendance at nearly all Harvard sporting events, calling upon students to make the trek across the river to support their peers and cheer on the programs that represent them.

We’ve tried to offer constructive ways in which the University might lure some of us down there. We’ve suggested sponsor giveaways, intermission contests, and the other catchy marketing tools employed by other schools nationwide.

Not all of our suggestions have been realized. Few have, actually. Wait, have any?

Doesn’t matter. We have been deluding ourselves, and it is time at last to come to grips with the reality that we have tried to disprove for so long: Harvard students don’t care about their athletic department.

Period.

Nothing you or I say or do will ever change that, so we—the apologists of the Harvard athletics department—might as well stop, re-evaluate our position, and begin once again. What ought we, as Crimson fans, do in order to support the teams to which we claim allegiance? How might we save ourselves the embarrassment of being one of the few dozen students to be outnumbered by our Cornell counterparts come next hockey season, or one of the smattering of fans drunkenly berated by our Brown “peers” at an upcoming women’s water polo contest?

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With Inter Milan trailing cross-town rival AC Milan 1-0 in the second leg of their UEFA Champions League quarterfinal showdown this week, Inter’s fans quickly spiraled out of control, bombarding the field with flares and other bits of detritus.

One of the projectiles struck AC Milan’s goaltender Nelson Dida in the head, forcing the suspension of the match and the evacuation of the pitch. When the two sides returned, the flares rained down once more, prompting the end of the contest.

Inter will likely be heavily fined by UEFA and forced to play at least one of its upcoming games in an empty stadium—a punishment for its rowdy fans.

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The question that logically follows is, of course, this: Why haven’t we thought of this?

Now, before you begin writing your letters to the editor, at least hear me out. I’m not advocating that we mimic Inter Milan’s fans right down to the last flare. Not by a long shot. I’m not asking that we import the hooliganism that would put players at risk.

But that playing in front of an empty stadium idea? I think we may have something here.

I know it sounds silly, but there are advantages for everyone here, both athletes and the fans who would actually want to support them.