FOR REAL?
The slide-ruling Sy Hershes at MIT’s student paper, The Tech, led their Feb. 8 installment of mediocrity with the blockbusting headline, “Police Broke Up AEPi Party, Found Alcohol.” Holy fuck, Mr. Woodward! Still, Gadfly is well aware that even our beloved Crimson is but the flawed work of mortals. So we’re hard at work on an expose for next week’s issue: “HUPD BREAKS UP SPEE PARTY, FINDS ASSHOLES.”
—Simon W. Vozick-Levinson
PAGING THE SHERIFF OF NOTTINGHAM
ATTENTION HARVARD: Jeremiah Alexander Johnson ’05-’06 would like his headphones back. In a posting to several House lists last week, the Lowellian publicly accused one of his fellow Spee men (or perhaps just a distinguished guest) of boosting his $100 Koss Pro-44AAT stereophones. Jeremiah now joins the bevy of freshman girls who have also regretted losing something special after a night at the Spee. Gadfly can only hope the reward includes a trip to the Mt. Auburn Street flophouse, where we could really put his headphones’ “titanium-coated high polymer diaphragm” to work.
—Zachary M. Seward and Michael M. Grynbaum
FLY ON THE WALL
Which ousted administrator’s daughter has joined her father on the anti-Summers bandwagon? The smiling sophomore is a member of thefacebook.com group “Can Larry (or at least send him to Yale)” . . . A midnight masticator at the Quincy Grille last Saturday appeared to be bankrolling his Harvard tuition on Crimson Cash. The fatcat swiped away five bucks for a bacon cheeseburger and Vitamin Water—leaving a whopping $830 in an account as bloated as his stomach probably was later that night.
— MMG and ZMS
Send your tips, frivolous gossip, and gratuitous rumors to fmgadfly@yahoo.com
