“The Game.” Two exceptionally common words which take on an exceptionally distinctive meaning when paired together. Their mere utterance unearths treasured images from the memory of any real Harvard student—like that time you blacked out at 1:30 p.m. on top of a couch that was on top of a U-Haul, for example. Or, that time you rushed the field after the Crimson won and pretended to urinate on the Yale insignia. Or that time you rushed the field after the Crimson won and actually did urinate on the Yale insignia. And, of course, let’s not forget that time you were detained in a New Haven jail for public urination.

Yes, something about The Game is clearly special, whether it be the hundreds of years of rivalry, the recent domination of Harvard football, the drinking, or the simple fact that Tommy Lee Jones ’69 seemed marginally responsive to my shouts of “Noisy cricket!” this past November.

Harvard-Yale is—for lack of a better description—a show.

The problem, unfortunately, is this: the show is being broadcast as much as reruns of “My Cousin Skeeter.”

With The Game, you see, there’s no flashiness. There’s none of that hip, all-important street credibility which inspires people to wear visors backwards and suddenly makes Pittsburgh Pirates uniforms from the 1970’s sell like hotcakes.

Harvard-Yale is widely perceived to be old school football…in the sense that the schools are really old.

“I care about [Harvard-Yale] as much as I do about the Padres-Seahawks rivalry, which doesn’t exist because they don’t play the same sport, which is to say that I do not care very much,” Loyola Maryland sophomore Robert Basile said.

In truth, not many others outside the Ivy bubble treat The Game in the same way they do other rivalries. Ohio St.-Michigan, Alabama-Auburn, and Texas-Texas A&M all have the history, the athletes, and the media. Army-Navy has the patriotic thing going for it. And while we clearly have tradition on our side, we’ve regrettably lacked that something extra for quite awhile.

Until now, that is.

Rapper Jayceon Taylor has chosen his nomenclatural muse, you see.

And it is Harvard-Yale.

In a bizarre, arguably socioeconomically ironic twist, Taylor decided to represent the entire Ivy League brand name by dubbing himself “The Game” after—yes, you guessed it—our The Game.

While representatives from Interscope Records and Aftermath Music could not be reached for comment earlier this week, I’m fairly confident that this is the first time anyone who openly lists N.W.A. as one of his inspirations has actively supported The Man.

Now, if you don’t believe the link between Cambridge and Compton, that’s fine. Decry my “shoddy journalism.” Tell me I’m “lying.” That “G-Unit would never do that to you.”

But I’ve done the investigation. The clues are all there. What you should be doing is thanking the folks at G-headquarters for radically improving the public perception of the event we all know and love.