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Rap's Top Ten Breakdown

The Billboard Rap Charts this week. I’m not sure there’s a bad song in the bunch, except for 50 Cent’s “Candy Shop.” But all’s forgiven though because that dude’s had a hard week what with the shootings, the launch of the G-Unity Foundation, and the New York Times comparing him to the author of What’s the Matter With Kansas. Which is worse?

10. Eminem—Mockingbird

Although it’s supposed to be a lullaby, the fact that Eminem sounds like he’s half asleep on this song winds up sounding pretty awkward. The rhymes are startling, technically speaking, but his delivery makes them seem unnecessarily forced. At the same time, he’s sounding more and more convincing playing the role of “dad”—which on the one hand is comforting because he actually does have children, but depressing on the other. This is the guy who used to be Slim Shady, after all.

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9. T.I.—U Don’t Know Me

There’s been a rash of these lately—first Ludacris’ “Get Back,” in which he proclaims “you don’t know me like that!”—and now this. These guys are getting too defensive. The best part about the song is the video it spawned, which has all kinds of different people mouthing the “you don’t know me” part of the chorus. It’s kind of like the video for “Break Stuff” by Limp Bizkit, which features cameos by Eminem, Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Jonathan from Korn, and also Pauly Shore I’m pretty sure. Worth mentioning, I thought.

8. The Game ft. 50 Cent—Hate It Or Love It

Great beat by Dr. Dre, and a fabulous little chorus that moves quick and slinky through 50 Cent’s bullet ridden gullet. “Coming up I was confused/my momma was kissing a girl.” Haha. That’s the first line. Kissing a girl.

7. Snoop Dogg ft. Pharrell—Drop It Like It’s Hot

This is still good, although way too old to be number seven on anything. Not that seven is too old. But you see what I mean about the Billboard charts moving slow as molasses?

6. T.I.—Bring ’Em Out

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