I’m going to borrow the words of Harvard men’s hockey captain Noah Welch and say that “I’m pissed.”

Just to clarify, Welch isn’t at all pissed—I am—but I’m borrowing his words because the senior has been known to describe himself as such.

When the No. 11 Crimson lost to St. Lawrence and nearly suffered an identical collapse the next night against Clarkson—this after traveling all the way to North Country on Thanksgiving Day—Welch announced, “I’m pissed at this roadtrip.”

When coach Ted Donato ’91 announced to his team that Harvard’s record in post-exam weekends for the last six years was 2-8-2, Welch explained that “When coach Donato brought that statistic up to us, we were all kind of pissed.”

It’s this honesty that has made Welch a rather successful captain, and it’s important to note one thing: Welch is not always pissed at losses. Rather, he’s pissed when his team “doesn’t play desperate,” when his team “doesn’t show up,” when his team “gets outworked 95 percent of the game”—all of which have happened, albeit infrequently, over the course of this season.

It’s the right attitude for a captain. But I, on the other hand, am a little more selfish, a little less pragmatic, and a lot more pissed at the things Welch can overlook as he focuses on the long run, the big picture, and the playoff stretch.

I’m pissed, for example, that this year’s Harvard team will not finish with 20 regular-season wins. The Crimson hasn’t done that since 1988-89, when the program won 24 games in the regular season en route to a national championship. This year, Harvard triumphed in the hard games, felling Boston College, Boston University, Maine, Vermont, and Cornell, top-15 teams all of them. So what kept Harvard from 20 wins season? Losses to teams like Merrimack and the aforementioned St. Lawrence, mediocre teams that played their biggest games against the Crimson.

Noah Welch may brush those off, saying that the 20-game mark means nothing, that it’s just a number, and that the regular season isn’t even a drop in the bucket once the playoffs begin. And, of course, he would be right to do so. It is just a number, and it does mean nothing. But I’m still pissed.

And I’m pissed that the Crimson didn’t take the Ivy title, or at least a share of it, after coming so painfully close. Entering this weekend, Cornell had completed its Ancient Eight schedule, and Harvard, for which only a game against Dartmouth remained, needed just a single point to tie the Big Red in the Ivy standings and two to win the Cleary Cup outright.

And it appeared almost ordained—how else do you explain the fact that trailing in the final two minutes of Friday’s game against the Big Green, Harvard pulled its goalie, called a timeout, and scored on the ensuing faceoff? In a loud, hostile environment, and as the clock ticked towards zero, Harvard’s miraculous, last-ditch effort had worked. The game was tied, and Harvard remained in line to earn at least one point—and a share of Ivy title.

But with just 31.2 seconds remaining in overtime, Dartmouth scored—and the Crimson lost—and Cornell locked up its fourth straight Cleary Cup. Just like that.

Noah Welch will tell you the Ivy title is nothing compared to an NCAA title, or even an ECAC title. He’ll tell you that the Cleary Cup won’t get you anywhere in the postseason, that its possession would have been nice but its absence isn’t quite crushing.

And he would be right, but I’m still pissed. It’s not a lot of time, 31.2 seconds.

Before this season began, the only ones who’d have picked the Crimson as a legitimate NCAA contender would have been Harvard skaters, coaches, and their family members. Suffice it to say that this 18-8-3 season—which is nowhere near over, yet—has been thoroughly enjoyable to watch.

And maybe that’s why I’m pissed.