Except for that brief period when J.Lo wore a table cloth to the Grammys and the cognoscenti kept talking about the greatness of celebrating a “real lady” with “real curves,” American culture has been sexualizing women who look as if they have been victims of marasmus for the duration of my culturally aware existence. As the public gets progressively larger, Nicole Ritchie gets smaller and, in turn, more famous. It boggles the mind.

Lately, however, pint-sized celebrities and models who do cocaine on the front page of the London Daily Mirror have taken to bragging about their protruding collar bone indirectly, by sporting an extremely large bag. Seemingly, the largeness of your bag is inversely related to your smallness, thus, the greater the possibility that you could dismember yourself and stuff all of your extremities into it.

The trend probably started with the Olsen twins, the originators of all things hip and extremely outsized. However, currently, these bags have caught the fancy of everyone from Lindsay Lohan to Jessica Simpson. The “it” bag has become the ultimate accessory for young twentysomethings who need to club. It adds drama to any sort of mundane outfit, it immediately contemporizes most of the antiquated looks gracing the runways this fall, and anyone looks skinnier in comparison to a huge sack.

Designers such as Balanciaga and Fendi have debuted entire lines of large and highly coveted bags. These bags’ distinguishing features, apart from size, generally reside in their embellishments. Braiding, grommets, colored leather and pleating are all par of the course on these bags, in which excess is premium.

They are usually slouchy and slightly ironic, a throwback to the drug-induced, suede-swathed seventies or the shoulder-padded largess of the 1980s.

For those of us Harvard students who are not a size two, but still want to participate in this trend, there is something eminently practical about a bag that is as large as a rolling suitcase that you would take on a heritage trip to Malaysia.

First of all, you can stuff all types of odds and ends in it, like your “Cosmic Connection” textbook. You can also wear huge sunglasses with an Olsen-like assurance. These things are certainly important, but they are also combated by severe drawbacks, such as never being able to find your I.D. card when it is torrentially raining or being able to turn off your phone while it is ringing in lecture.

As we know, regular women can profit from the wisdom of celebrities in myriad ways. We have learned about the glories of Scientology, kaballah, and emotional cheating, all from these rarified personages. However, they can also instruct in eternal maxims, like the law of comparisons, for example, which states that no matter what size you are, you always look smaller and skinnier next to a large bag.

ESSENTIALS FOR MAKING THIS TREND WORK IN REAL LIFE:

1) Make sure that the bag is large but also highly detailed. It makes no sense to carry about a large leather sack.

2) Try and pair this bag with tailored pants. Too much volume makes you look like you are just large and happen to carry around a large bag. It’s all about the laws of comparisons.

3) Don’t wear a really long scarf. That’s just a rule you should live by no matter what bag you choose.

—Staff writer Rebecca M. Harrington can be reached at harring@fas.harvard.edu.