Editorial Chair
Taking a play from George Bush, who just ran a series of campaign ads including images of 9/11, presidential candidate John Kerry will find his own tragedy to exploit as he depicts himself as the “Titanic candidate.”
Benjamin J. Toff ’05
Editorial Chair
As even more towns and cities across America begin issuing same-sex marriage liscenses, gay and lesbian “body snatchers” will infiltrate the heterosexual masses, converting their sexualities and dissolving their marriages.
Morgan R. Grice ’06
Asssociate Editorial Chair
Now that McDonald’s has gotten rid of Super-Sizing and added “healthier options,” Harvard University Dining Services will take a hint and start givng us “edible options.”
Travis R. Kavulla ’06
Asssociate Editorial Chair
Having clinched the party nod, John Kerry will work wonders with swing voters employing the trademark populism and down-to-earth demeanor that could only come from a good ol’ boy Mass. Democrat.
Margaret M. Rossman ’06
Asssociate Editorial Chair
President Bush will continue channeling the spirit of the Great and Powerful Oz, since “he knows all,” to save the world. Americans will be fulfilled without details, choosing to pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
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Missing Their CUE
