Ladies and Gentlemen, children of all ages, you are a privileged bunch.

As students of Harvard College you are afforded a world-class education, a diverse community of amazing peers and a front-row ticket to the Greatest Show on…

Murr?

Scratch that. Blodgett, Ohiri and Bright don’t work either.

Alas, The Cantabrigian Caaaaaarnival!

Experience the excitement, the bizarre and the fantastic, humanity’s oddities, nature’s mistakes and those physical phenomena that will rock you in your seats.

That’s right. Buy yourself a ticket to watch one of Harvard’s 41 world-class varsity sports. You’ll see freakish feats that will entertain you like never before!

Hurry, hurry, hurry on down to Brown’s Meehan Auditorium, where the Crimson men’s hockey team takes on the Bears in Round 2 of the ECAC Playoffs. You’ve never seen such a terrible sight. It defies the laws of physics. It’s…

The World’s Hardest Slapshot!

Watch as the Parson of Puck himself, senior forward Tim Pettit, launches one, two, three of ‘em at Brown goaltender Yann Danis.

Step right up, Yanni. Those pucks are hurtling at you at almost 100 miles per hour!

Next, follow the tour approximately 1013 miles south—to St. Louis’s Savvis Center—for the 2004 NCAA Wrestling Championships on March 18-20. While there, take a gander at one of Harvard’s greatest and most popular entertainers. When he’s on the mat, he’s…

The One Man Show!

Watch as The Maestro himself, senior Jesse Jantzen, takes down opponent after sorry opponent. If not, just take a peek at his thefacebook.com picture. He’s a maniac!

On deck: head to the Bayou for a four-game weekend set March 20-21 as the Harvard baseball team takes on Louisiana-Lafayette and Michigan. If that last act didn’t knock your socks off, here’s something that will. It’s wacky. Nay, extraordinary. It’s…