We thought it was bad enough already. When a letter sent two weeks ago by Undergraduate Council President Matthew W. Mahan ’05 told of an imminent Boston Police Department (BPD) crackdown at this year’s Harvard-Yale Game, House Committees (HoCos), student groups and Ivy League football fans alike collectively cringed. Spurred by community groups in Allston and Boston, the BPD will enforce a law hindering the transport of large quantities of alcohol into the city, and it will have officers patrolling the tailgate parties. Thanks to the BPD, two weeks ago the amusement-level at this year’s Game seemed ready to hit an all-time low. Then Harvard announced its own, home-grown rules at a meeting with HoCos last Thursday. Suffice it to say, it has now hit rock-bottom.

With all the restrictions placed on merriment at the Game by various Harvard administrators, it will be a wonder if any Yalies, or indeed any Harvardians, actually bother to come. The wide array of misguided, territorial and downright dangerous “solutions” that Harvard has come up with will make this year’s Game the worst ever.

The Athletic Department has banned U-Hauls from parking on any of its fields, citing the wanton destruction visited on its precious sod during the 2002 Game. Associate Dean of the College Judith H. Kidd backed up this sorry excuse—the fields were destroyed in 2002 because they were still wet from heavy rains the previous days—by citing the risks of dancing on top of U-Hauls and “terror concerns.” Cars and SUVs, however, are still allowed to park on the fields. U-Hauls may be heavier and slightly more commodious for WMDs than cars and SUVs, but where’s the difference here? Banning U-Hauls if it rains again is perfectly reasonable. Banning them without reason is perfectly the opposite.

The College has also renewed the keg ban for this year’s Game. Perhaps the idea is to drive up aluminum prices, as will happen when thousands of tailgates are forced to rely on cumbersome 30-packs of beer to quench Crimson fans’ taste for malt beverages. Or perhaps the idea is to enrich a single keg distributor, namely United Liquors of Cambridge, which has been given a no-bid contract to supply kegs to HoCo tailgates only. The catch is that all beer in kegs will be served by licensed, bonded and insured United Liquors employees, supposedly assuring that the College will not be sued if some student goes a bit too heavy on the Sam Adams.

Whatever the reason, the extended keg ban just doesn’t make sense. Banning kegs once more will only increase the consumption of hard alcohol at and before the Game. Harpoon may have a scary brand name, but Smirnoff is the real way to kill someone. Furthermore, keg ban or not, and United Liquors men or not, the College is never going to rid itself of responsibility if a student drinks too much and dies. There are too many people serving too much alcohol. The College would be better off reinstating kegs, restricting dangerous hard alcohol and focusing on efforts to ensure as many students as possible drink responsibly. The College can’t stop students from drinking, and it can’t wash its hands of their mistakes. It should be trying to prevent those mistakes in the first place.

As if the transportation and alcohol situations weren’t bad enough, the College has also proposed relocating all HoCo tailgates to Ohiri Field, about a third of a mile from the student group and general admission tailgates. So here, then, is the scenario the College seems to be pushing: a separate, contained, U-Haul-less HoCo tailgate with wristbands and heavy tutor supervision. Now that’s a party!

The College’s number one priority should be to carve out a reserved space in the middle of general admission parking for Harvard’s Houses to set up their tailgates. Twelve HoCo tailgates do not a party make. If only for the vast majority of Harvard students who owe allegiance to organizations other than Houses, HoCos and student groups, both recognized and unrecognized, should be allowed to tailgate together.

Moving the HoCos into the middle of the general admission tailgates will also open up Ohiri Field for Yale’s tailgates. Where is the College currently planning to put Yale tailgates? It’s not sure. The Business School parking lot, where Yale’s Colleges and student groups held their bash two years ago, has been closed to tailgates in order to spare Harvard President Lawrence H. Summers the ignominy of having to observe the pro-Bulldog revelers as guests from his fancy pre-Game luncheon walk from the B-School to the stadium. Making Ohiri Field Yale’s space is a common-sense way to make thirsty Yalies and Summers’ guests happy.

If Harvard really wants to put on a safe and enjoyable Game, it should make sure its rules mesh with reality. True, Massachusetts law doesn’t allow Harvard to turn a blind eye to underage drinking. And it shouldn’t. What it should do is regulate the right kinds of alcohol in the right ways to ensure that students don’t get hurt. What it should do is work with Yale to ensure that New Havenites will have as much fun, and as much room, as their Cantabrigian cousins. And what it should do is ensure that the official HoCo tailgates at the Game are as integrated with other tailgates as possible so that this Game experience fosters the same camaraderie and solidarity amongst Harvard students as it always does at Yale. Otherwise, this year’s Game may manage to be more dangerous, more poorly attended and more uninspiring than ever before.