Larry Summers, this column is for you.

It’s advice and I know you want it. In your first 100 days as President, you want to make a good impression. You want to show those stuffy professors that your brain is as big as your considerable girth and that a new sheriff is in town. You want to show the undergraduates you truly care about making everybody happy.

In short, you need to be “The Man with The Plan.” Here’ s what you need to do.

Forget all that Living Wage crap. Throw aside all the memos on inter-disciplinary integration, building a women’s studies center and raising the term bill. Essentially, ignore all of the nonsense you read on this paper’s editorial page. Think outside the box.

You’re sitting on a pile of money—about $20 billion, give or take a few billion depending on how tech stocks are holding up. It’s time for Harvard, the most prestigious university in the world, to step up to the plate and...

BUY THE BOSTON RED SOX!

Yup, Larry, you heard right. The Sox are on the block, and there’s no shortage of rich suburban bankers who want to pony up the $500 million it would take to buy them from the Yawkeys.

A half-billion dollars is nothing. Nothing compared to what Harvard will get in return.