Back in the heyday of the Cold War, American intelligence officers used to scour May Day pictures in Pravda to gain clues about Russia's leaders and the general state of our arch-enemy. By analyzing these pictures, they learned who was in control, how healthy they were, how good the Russian economy was, and other useful tidbits. Watching President George W. Bush's speech last Wednesday, anybody could have learned the same things about our country, even without moles in the FBI. They would have seen that our country is in good shape, though we possess some of the wackiest leaders this side of Libyan leader Muammar el-Quadaffi.

Most of the humor of the night came from watching Democrats disoriented by the absence of Clinton and Republicans giddy at the thought of hearing, after eight years, "And now for the Democratic response." Dick Armey and Tom DeLay, standing next to each other, were bouncing up and down and looked like they would have hugged each other if they didn't think it would cause them to go to Hell. Meanwhile, Phil Gramm's body literally jiggled as he applauded. They just don't make cowboys the way they used to. Halfway through the speech, I realized that some guy named Dennis Hastert was sitting in Newt Gingrich's chair next to Dick Cheney, then I went back to ignoring him.

On the other side of the aisle, Democrats were clearly unsure how to act. Sheila Jackson Lee and Jesse Jackson, Jr. stood on the aisle to meet the President as he went by as if they hadn't stood in the very same chamber a month before to yell at former Vice President Al Gore '69 for not inventing rules so they could protest his loss. Robert Byrd looked like he was having a stroke, though, strangely, he didn't seem upset about it. Hillary, who gained more camera time than Laura Bush, couldn't decide what to do with her face and seemed to settle on a combination smile/frown/sneeze.

It was also fun watching audience members use their prominence to send not-so-subtle messages. Our own Senator John Kerry, clearly yearning to snatch any jobs in the Bush administration for token Democrats from current forerunners Zell Miller and John Breaux, not only applauded when other Democrats sat on their hands, but even gave several standing ovations. Across the aisle, Bush's cabinet tried to soften its image. John Ashcroft and Christine Todd Whitman applauded the end of racial profiling as if he hadn't spoken at Bob Jones University and she hadn't posed for pictures while smiling and frisking a black man. From the podium, Bush too sent messages. His attempts at bipartisanship included announcing new funds to fight cancer and making everybody clap for cancer-stricken John Moakly. Several Congressmen, evidently confused at this point, yelled bravo as if they wanted an encore. These people were probably named Strom.

The whole affair, including NBC with its gimmicky "Bush Proposal" signs after each new announcement and its constant inadvertent shots up women's dresses, bordered on the surreal. But, funny as the event was, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the other lesson that could be learned from watching the speech: Bush is doing well. Very well.

His skill and success cannot be merely attributed to his honeymoon. The speech was a genuine success on its own. In its substance, it was effective at displaying diplomacy and bipartisan spirit. Even barbed references to "the way we did things in recent years," and veiled insults at the Clinton style ("We didn't take a poll") went over like honey. In his delivery Bush was personal and poised, well-spoken and witty. He displayed remarkable timing and confidence. In short, he worked the room the way Clinton used to--maybe better because Congress actually likes him. Also, Bush arrived on time, kept his speech to one hour, and began without a broken teleprompter. When did Clinton ever manage that?

This speech was a true redemption of Bush's horrible inaugural address, during which even former-President Bush, whom the press has ludicrously decided to dub "poppy," appeared to nod off every few seconds when he wasn't being woken up by applause lines like "Thank you, and God bless America."

Bush is growing into his job as President, and it shows. Anybody watching this speech, despite their prior fears, would see our nation in competent hands. But Congress? Well, I hope Russia's not watching.