This past Saturday, a crowd of chanting political activists and shrieking pre-pubescent girls gathered in front of Littauer. They gathered to demand a living wage for Harvard's workers--and, of course, to catch a glimpse of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. The television crews came also, and footage of Matt and Ben's local appearance dominated the evening news. Behind these two celebrities, in most camera shots at least, viewers could see a banner decrying Harvard's shameful employment practices.

I do not usually find myself at progressive protests, but I was drawn to this particular event by the clever publicity campaign staged by its organizers. It is not every day that the disembodied head of Howard Zinn appears on a poster along with two young movie stars. I decided that any event associated with such an unusual tableau--Andy Warhol's vision of Mt. Rushmore?--was worth a casual inspection.

My decision to attend the rally paid off handsomely. For one thing, Ben's on again-off again paramour, Gwyneth Paltrow, was in attendance. Yes, she looks as good in person. And even if their attention is not directed towards you, it is always exhilarating to find oneself in a crowd of shrieking girls. Most importantly, I rediscovered the reason why I don't usually find myself at such expressions of liberal discontent.

The primary reason is that chanting can be an extremely awkward exercise. I imagine that if a group of people is sufficiently passionate about something, then chanting might come naturally, and it might even sound good. But, when there's no emotional fire and when most of the people in a crowd are just trying to enjoy their cotton candy, organized chanting becomes a downright painful spectacle. There are few sights sadder than watching someone beg a crowd to chant.

Admittedly, the leaders of Saturday's rally did a respectable job of cajoling participation, but even when people do chant, the problem is that most chants sound silly.

"Hey-Hey, Ho-Ho, Poverty wages have got to go!" (Repeat)

"What do we want?" A Living Wage!

"When do we want it?" Now! (Repeat)