INDEPENDENT WOMAN?

File under "Sad": musicians using Tuesday night's Billboard Music Awards as validation of their careers. Beyonc Knowles of Destiny's Child (actually, the only one of the Destiny's Children to have survived the various group changes) was quoted as saying: "they're so accurate, based on record sales and airplay-you know you made it when you made a Billboard award." Um, if they're based on record sales and airplay, shouldn't you know you made it way before then, when the money starts coming in?

OUR LOVE BECOME A FUNERAL PYRE

Last mention of the Beatles in this column for this year, I promise: today is the 20th anniversary of John Lennon's murder. Pity that means Yoko will probably say something that will come across as more self-serving than heartfelt. And pity the movie-of-the-week about Lennon last Sunday was so terrible. Talk about going down to Liverpool to do nothing. December 8 is also Jim Morrison's birthday, although the annoying inconvenience of death puts a damper on things. Light a fire in memory.

IDIOTECHNOLOGY

Surfing through random British music websites I've just learnt that in England you can place bets on which single hits no. 1 over there over the Christmas week. The good money's on Eminem, apparently. More importantly, Radiohead will be performing live and then doing a DJ set for BBC Radio. Check out www.bbc.co.uk/radio1, on Monday, Dec. 11, 3p.m. EST.

DO THE HUSTLE!

Received the strangest single in the mail the other day. Universal Records is trying to promote a new dance craze, the "cha-cha slide." True, it's been a while since the last dance craze-was it the macarena? And before that, was it the lambada? But the song accompanying it is terrible, the schlockiest thing ever. But the accompanying instructions are hilarious to look at! Check out the "Turn it Out" step (right).

I guess when Lynyrd Skynyrd can release a Christmas album, you can get away with anything... listening to "Run, Run Rudolph" ranks as one of my more excrutiating Yuletide moments. "Freebird" it isn't. It's almost as bad as the worst Christmas song ever, "Jingle Bell Rock."

And that's not even the most bizarre release of the week. Mahir-he of the ridiculous "I Kiss You" website trend-has released a single entitled, inevitably, "I Kiss You." Generic quasi-dance music. Still, if you must watch the whole video, you can fire up your RealVideo players to www.music365.co.uk/audio/mahir-vid300.ram.

SANTA BABY

Music cred advertisers of the season: the Gap, who give Badly Drawn Boy badly needed publicity by using the BDB song "The Shining" on a commercial. Brilliant. Other ads feature slo-core faves Low, as well the Red House Painters and the Dandy Warhols. Like I said, cred.

I WANNA BE YOUR WILLIAM FAULKNER

One concert worth mentioning: impossibly catchy campus rock band Invisible Downtown (whose lead singer Jen is pictured to the right) are performing next Wednesday (Dec. 13) at T.T. The Bear's, which is a great venue. If you need directions, the band's organizing an "escort"-meet at Out of Town News at 10p.m. Those wanting to hear their songs first, check out

www.invisibledowntown.com. When you're alone and life is making you lonely you can always go...

Questions? Comments?

E-mail dsng@fas or visit www.dsng.net