It was a sickening, disappointing and bittersweet sight.

Yesterday afternoon, as the clock expired on the 117th playing of The Game, Yalies poured forth clumsily over the 10-foot high walls of Harvard Stadium to join their football team in celebration of its 34-24 win. Strains of "Boola Boola," Yale's fight song, wafted through the chilly air as the Harvard players, many with heads hung low, slowly walked off their home field.

It shouldn't have ended this way.

It shouldn't have ended this way for the team as a whole. This year's edition of the Crimson had arguably the most potent offense in the 127-year history of Harvard football. Heading into The Game, the Crimson was ranked fourth in the country in total offense, had the tenth best passing offense in the country and led the Ivy League in rushing offense. The 4,679 yards of total offense for the year, a school record, bested the mark of the 1997 team, which won the Ivy title.

Although the offense was stellar this season, the defense certainly pulled its own weight. Before yesterday, the Crimson was ranked second in the League in scoring defense and first in rushing defense. This season, Harvard shut out an opponent for the first time since its 1997 banner season.

In fact, just based on statistics and general team performance, the offensive explosiveness and defensive tenacity will firmly cement the 2000 Crimson as one of the best Harvard football teams of all time.

But why, then, did Harvard end the year with a 5-5 overall record and a 4-3 Ivy record? Why couldn't the deadly offense provide more than one additional Ivy win over last season's team? Why couldn't the defense give Harvard its first winning record in three seasons? Why did we suffer another painful loss to such revoltingly smug and decidedly inferior opponent?

If I knew the answers to any or all of these questions, I would be running the show. But since I'm merely a helpless spectator, I only know one thing for certain.

It shouldn't have ended this way.

It shouldn't have ended this way for captain Mike Clare. The senior offensive lineman, who is roundly respected by his teammates and coaches alike, deserved better than that yesterday. For all the work and sacrifice of the last four years, he at least merited the opportunity to taste victory one last time in the place he called home for so long.

It shouldn't have ended this way for Chuck Nwokocha. The senior tailback, whose mother came to watch him play in his final game at Harvard, did all that he could to help his team win yesterday. In the second quarter, the speedy Nwokocha shocked the Elis with a 94-yard kickoff return for a touchdown. It was the longest such return by a Harvard player against Yale, and it was the first TD return for Harvard in 17 years. Despite this Herculean effort, Nwokocha lost to Yale for the third straight time, and for the second and final time at home.

It shouldn't have ended this way for Neil Rose. The junior quarterback was hailed as a savior when he revitalized the offense and led the team to untold productivity. He set records in almost every significant category and will be remembered as one of Harvard's finest passers. And yet, sadly, Rose valiantly deteriorated yesterday before his fellow students, admiring supporters and more importantly, his family, who had flown in from Hawaii.

Rose is, in a sense, our tragic hero. He was the powerful Achilles whose heel was interceptions and whose death was in the greatest of wars--The Game.

Far from the lauded leader, it shouldn't have ended this way for the unsung heroes of this young team. At the start of this season, many wouldn't have recognized the names of Nick Palazzo, Matt Leiszler or Dante Balestracci. Now, after their enormous contributions to the team and their competitive drive, it's hard to imagine we could soon forget those names. It is unjust for such a good group of talented and dedicated players to go without the laurels of victory.

However, as the saying goes, life is unfair.

In tough times, though, there are usually glimmers of hope. Don't forget that Neil Rose is only a junior, Carl Morris, Leiszler, and Palazzo are sophomores and Balestracci is a freshman. In fact, 30 of the team's 36 core players will return for the 2001 campaign. Most of yesterday's warriors will go on to fight another day and will perhaps have a shot at redemption.

But wishful thinking and hopeful expectation will not eliminate or diminish this loss. All of us will have to endure yet another year of friendly jokes, incessant reminders, and crass braggadocio. If I only get one thing for Christmas, I wish it would be serene silence from my friends who decided to plunge into higher education in what is generally considered to be the world's finest safety school.

And yes, as my slight jab indicates, maybe it wasn't so bad. After all, along with all the downs yesterday, there were certainly many ups. At various points, I'm sure we all enjoyed laughing at the other side of the stadium. Although some of us, for different reasons, may find it difficult to remember yesterday's contest in specific detail, we will all acknowledge that it was more than just a football game.

But I disagree with those who would only pass it off as just that- "youthful indiscretion" associated with a football game. For all the hype and attention accorded to The Game, there really is a reason to capitalize it. Not because of the tailgate, not because of the media, and certainly not because of the audience on either side. The players who give their time, energy, and college lives playing football without scholarships deserve the attention they receive. And for that reason, Harvard's players deserved better than yesterday.

In all, The Game evoked a mix of emotions too complicated to record and, in many ways, too difficult to recall. Every one of us felt diminished in some way when our team was the one dejectedly walking off the field while the Elis celebrated on the 'H' at midfield. But for all our disappointment, I guarantee that the players felt it more than we can imagine.

For every Crimson football player who walked off the field yesterday amid the Yale pageantry, I would not be surprised to learn that he shared my reaction.

It shouldn't have ended this way.