Dartboard knows we don't need to make fun of Dan Quayle. Oh no, Dartboard is above such petty mockery. What would the point be? The rest of the country has already made fun of him. There are even more Dan Quayle jokes than "yo' Mama" jokes. The e-mail forwards about the man could fill Widener's stacks. Oh no, Dartboard doesn't need to say anything about Dan Quayle's intelligence. He's already said it all himself. Right?

But we're having a hard time convincing ourselves. On Wednesday, the former senator from Indiana officially declared his candidacy for the next presidential race. He spoke at his former high school where nearly 6,000 people chanted, "Q2k! Q2K!" for Quayle 2000. Has it occurred to anyone on his campaign that Y2K is a huge problem? Hmm.

The Associated Press story says Dan is pushing family values. How original. "Murphy Brown is gone," he said, "and I'm still here fighting for the American family. The AP also says the announcement had a pep rally feeling. Rah. Feel Dartboard's excitement.

Dan also talked up his plan for a 30 percent universal tax cut. Read my lips, Dan: Dartboard didn't believe Bush, and we don't believe his yes-man.

And there's more delight in Dartboard's liberal heart. Not only is Quayle a zillion years late, he's million dollars short. Yup, according to the AP, he's raised only half the $2 million he thought he would in the first quarter of 1999.

Even his hometown pals and fellow GOP'ers won't back him--according to the AP, the Indianapolis mayor is backing Republican fave, Texas Gov. George W. Bush And Quayle aides have gone over to the Bush camp. Indiana GOP Chair Mike McDaniel hasn't endorsed anyone.

But Quayle's still plugging away (when's he going to get the point?), spinning his image problems to show that he's battling the evil liberals in order to save "family values." A frightening internal poll quoted in the story says that of 1,000 primary voters, a staggering 70 percent thought this statement was correct: "Dan Quayle has proven he can take a punch; the media made fun of him and he is still standing firm for what he believes." That evil media! Not only has Dan proven he can take a punch, he's proven that he can hit himself.

Much like Dartboard, apparently. Maybe we shouldn't be so quick to judge. After an extensive edit, Dartboard's editor ever-so-politely mentioned that Quayle is supposed to have an "e" on the end of it. Silly us, we thought it was "Quayle." Who's never made that mistake before?