March is here, and with the advent of spring, a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of basketball.

But this is not just any basketball; this is March Madness.

No other event has us running to the copier trying to make 1,000 copies of the NCAA men's basketball brackets to give to our closest random strangers.

No other event has us rooting for schools with names like "Gonzaga" and "Weber State"--names we've never heard before.

No other event has Dick Vitale screaming into a microphone about "Diaper Dandies" and "Awesome Baby[s]."

Wait a second. Every event Dick Vitale participates in has Dick Vitale screaming about that, which is precisely why I hate Dick Vitale.

I can understand why people can get excited about a Cinderella team upsetting a high seed in the tournament. And I can even understand if Dicky V. gets a little manic as he analyzes the last few seconds of a close game.

But what I can't understand is why he is always that way, even if it is a non-conference game between Alaska-Fairbanks and Youngstown State.

His commentary is always a mileaminuteclicheriddenawesomebaby!