MAY, 21 1951:

Born in New York.

1973: Graduates from Harvard College.

1975: Lorne Michaels hires him to write for his new show, Saturday Night Live

1980: Leaves SNL briefly.

1986: Writes first movie, One More Saturday Night. It bombs.

1988: Comes crawling back to SNL.

1992: Comes out with first book, I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone it, People Like Me!

1994: Writes, executive produces and acts in another failed flick, When a Man Loves a Woman.

1995: His next film effort, Stuart Saves His Family, comes out. Once again, his project bombs. 1996: Covers ilndecision e96 for Comedy Central. Sleeps with Arianna Huffington.

MARCH 3, 1999: FM interviews him and discovers he is a bitter, bitter man:

FM: What question haven't I asked you that I should?

Al Franken: Uh. Never ask that question. That¡s the last time you ask that question, okay? I¡m not trying to scold you but I¡m telling you to never ask that question again.

FM: Well, my editors told me to ask that question

Al Franken: They did? Tell your editors never to assign someone to ask that question again. I don't know. Uh. Have you ever heard of our paper? You could of asked me that so I could have said, "No."