HAS ANYONE MISPLACED A Halloween mask with a pump that sprays red "blood?" A few months ago, it turned up in dorm crew's Weld basement office, a Yard-wide depot for items lost and found. After it spent a month unclaimed, though, dorm crew threw it out. This lost and found only keeps its loot for about a month before it's shipped off to the homeless. Apparently, the homeless didn't want the mask.

Dorm crew knows of at least 10 other campus lost and founds. Every house, every library and every classroom building seems to have its own; the Science Center alone holds three. There is no Master Cache, no granddaddy of all lost and founds. Bottom line: if you don't know where you lost it, you're probably not getting it back.

Harvard Student Agencies' The Unofficial Guide to Life at Harvard cites only one "Lost and Found"--the HUPD station at 29 Garden St. Is this it, the motherlode of missing stuff? The police admit to harboring a stash, but say it's unlikely that it would contain misplaced clothing or that overdue problem set. This central location receives bigger and better things--wallets, jewelry and the occasional laptop.

The Science Center's lost-and-found operation pales in comparison, but a security guard there says he finds all sorts of interesting articles nonetheless, among them shoes and underwear. They've got bags of underwear. Which brings up the question: if people are finding underwear in the Science Center, what on earth are they finding in Widener?