If John Milton made a movie, I don't think he would have cast Alanis Morrisette as God. If John Milton had a soundtrack to this movie, for the love of God he would not have included Alanis cacophony as the only lyrical track. But Kevin Smith--who has taken on the Greatest Story Ever Told in his new film, Dogma--has erroneously decided to do both. Depending on who you are, this either inspires horror, laughter or pious reverence to the Great and All-Powerful Alanis. On the first day, she created Jagged Little Pill. On the second day, she created Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie. On the third day, the poor girl should have rested--"Still," her contribution to this soundtrack, is enough to make me you wish you had martyred yourself somewhere in between day two and three. Perhaps she could have done us all a favor and "uninvited" herself from the pop music scene for a couple of millennia or so. If Smith had seen her tortuous Woodstock show, he would have casted her as the Dark Lord Satan herself. If I were God, I would have kicked her off my Heavenly Choir whether she had rebelled against me or not. As for the rest of the orchestral soundtrack that sounds like a mix of "Barney and Friends" and Excalibur, who gives a damn? Alanis: F The rest: C
Read more in Arts
Women Beware Women Shows The Dark Side of WomenRecommended Articles
-
Album Review: Unplugged by Alanis MorrisettePoor Alanis. In the mid '90s, she was loved, adored. She could have been elected President. And now, she's reviled,
-
Soman's In the (K)nowSomeone once said my column reminds them of Joan Rivers and I nearly puked in horror. Come on now. Joan
-
Morissette, Manson Match Music in Decibel Death DuelALANIS MORISETTE & GARBAGE At the Fleet Center Monday, February 22 In the Celebrity Deathmatch face-off between Alanis Morissette and
-
Alanis Knows What She WantsBy SONYA M. LAI contributing writer Alanis Morisette is no stranger to public revelations of her intimate thoughts and secrets.
-
Crimson WisdomPre-meds Medical school applications hit two-year low. Too bad you spent so much time studying for those MCATs. President Clinton
-
You Oughta Know the softer side of ALANISWITHOUT FAIL, music critics enjoy labeling and compartmentalizing new talent--in a sense, trying to create neat categories that simply don't