Those of you night owls in the habit of shooting the late-night breeze with Kirkland House security guards are gonna have to change your ways this year.

In what could be a portent of future doorway upgrades, the ubiquitous tentacles of University Hall descended upon K-House this summer and decreed that all door handles shall lock, even if you don't lock them.

That means that those of us who are flighty, capricious or in a little bit too much of hurry to head out on the town are going to be spending a lot more time in front of locked doors, without keys. As a result, Kirkland security guards are going to be busy rescuing stranded students all fall.

But while Kirkland House will certainly suffer from a lack of late-night chat, it sure is nice to know that our friends in University Hall are there when we need them. There's no way we could keep criminals out without their help; as undergraduates, we just don't know enough to lock our own doors.

The only complaint I have is that our omniscient administrators can't get more involved in our lives. Wouldn't it be nice if they figured out a way to start flushing the toilet for us, wake us up every morning and remind us to send letters home?

I understand installing doors that automatically lock (you out) is a step in the right direction, but still, you'd think they could be a little more responsible for our actions. --RICK BURNES 11/09/1998 Editorial 6 D A R T B O A R D The editors take aim at the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Price of a Slice

You may want to allocate a bit more to your late-night snack budget this fall. Tommy's Pizza, famous for staying open until 3 a.m., and for its not-quite-so-savory sesame-seed crust, has raised the price of a cheese slice to $1.50, 15 cents up from last year.

This markup is hardly trivial. For one, it drastically overstates the current inflation rate. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the actual compounded CPI increase for food and beverages increased just half a percent over the last three months-- far less than the 11 percent increase at Tommy's. And wasn't it just last year that the pizzeria raised slice prices a dime?

Gone are the days when a hungry student could buy two slices and still have a quarter left for the pinball machine. Gone are the days when choosing two slices at Tommy's instead of two sicilians at 'Noch's could be justified by the extra change we'd have in our pockets (the latter, which Dartboard's stomach finds more satisfying, now costs only 40 cents more).

Gone are the days of really cheap pizza. At least we still have the Chinese Kitchen Truck.   --RICHARD S. LEE