One of the cruel ironies of college existence, particularly for Harvard students, is that just as nature shows her first green, students are sitting in their rooms turning green about something entirely less pleasant--exams.

The Harvard pressure-cooker gets pretty hot mid-semester and by mid-May classes have reechoed boiling point. Your friends vanish, the humming of the Cabot Library fans becomes the soundtrack to your life and you start to hear The Crimson hit your door before you've hit the covers.

The least Harvard can do, it seems, is to provide a decent test-taking environment during the exams themselves. According to the majority of students and exam proctors, the Office of the Registrartends to do its job pretty well.

"The administration is very helpful," says Virginia M. O'Connell, who oversees the exam proctors. "They want to see the exams run smoothly." 1

"From the student end, most agree that they have encountered few serious problems with exams.

"[My exams] have been pretty quick," says W. David Marx '01. "Five minutes late at most, which is not really late at all."

The level of student satisfaction also extends to the proctors themselves.

"We don't get that many student complaints," O'Connell says. "We do get joking complaints, that one [exam proctor] was a Nazi and one was a baseball coach, but that was mostly in fun I think."

Aaron Gardiner '98 recalls one moment of frustration, but without much irritation.

"People turned in their test...and [the head proctor] wouldn't let people leave because she wanted to count the exams," Gardiner, says. "When she turned her back, people started running for the door. But if it's her job, then she has to do it."

The majority of exams problems, according to both students and proctors, stem from factors mostly out of proctors' control, such as those related to course instructors.

"The only issue I had was a Spanish exam where eight TFs came in and started chatting in Espagnol," says exam proctor Dorothea S. Piranian.

Students back up Piranian's complaint about gossiping TFs.

"The TFs do chatter," says Tina V. Katopodes '98. "If you sit near the front, you can hear them whispering."

Some students defend TF behavior.

"My TFs have all been kind of cool," says Trygve V. Throntfeldt '01.

Professors come under fire occasionally as well, primarily for showing up late to their exams, often with the tests in hand.

"There's nothing we can do about late professors," O'Connell sighs. "We've been trying for years."

Other difficulties, from construction noise to cramped desks, are also mentioned by students as classic exam distractions, but none with great frequency. Even rarer are incidents of actual cheating.

Although Throntfeldt postulates that "it seems like it would be pretty easy to cheat on an exam," O'Connell, who has been conduct- ing exams for about 12 years, says she's seenvery few cases.

"In 12 years [we've had] perhaps two,"O'Connell says. "And they were not seriousinfractions. The students are very, very honest."

While most students may diligently go abouttheir business as proctors, who are recruited froma pool of former educators and Harvard employees,silently observe, there is one exam proctor inparticular who has made a name for himself.

Thomas F. Gorman, who is in his fifth year as aproctor, is well-known for his'left-field/right-field' baseball analogies duringexams.

"He's a lovely person," says O'Connell. "I knowhe's famous, and we're trying to curb him."

However, O'Connell admits that Gorman's styleserves a purpose.

"He's exceptionally efficient," she says.

Gorman himself has a light-hearted view of hisrole as a proctor.

"My biggest help is to try to use humor, forseveral reasons, the biggest of which is to try torelieve some tension," says Gorman. "I like itwhen I see people smile."

Yet as Throntfeldt points out, even goodproctors can't always make for a great atmosphere.

"It's mostly just people breathing heavily andsweating," he says