To the editors:

Re "Will Men Ever Stop?" (Opinion, Nov. 18): Jenny E. Heller notes that men will give unwanted attention to a woman simply because she is a woman, regardless of her attractiveness, and, because of this, and because this attention is often given by "dirty old men," she finds this attention degrading and not flattering.

By noting that her problem with the attention is that it is being given by unattractive men, Heller is actually putting more of an emphasis on looks than the men she claims do not care "whether she is what society's conventions consider attractive or not." Too often, the difference between what a woman considers to be a "sleazy" guy and a "flattering" guy is his level of attractiveness, not his behavior. As a man, let me say that women are most definitely not alone in terms of receiving unwanted attention from unattractive members of the opposite sex.

Furthermore, Heller notes that there is a level of objectification of women in society that prevents men from voting for attractive women that they see as sex symbols ("Would you want Barbie to lead your country?"). While it is true and unfortunate that today's society has continued to be reluctant to trust women with the same quantity and magnitude of leadership positions as men, this has little to do with the fact that men find women with good ideas too attractive. An attractive woman with good ideas has an advantage over a less attractive woman with the same ideas in today's society, just as an attractive man does. While this is superficial, and to be avoided, it is not "the Barbie treatment," as Heller describes it. LONNE A. JAFFE'98-'99   Nov. 18, 1998