A new season of television has begun, and for those with a less than religious devotion to productive existence, the practice of indolence just got that much easier. We at Dartboard pride ourselves on our ability to serve the needs of each and every Harvard student. So, in honor of the lazy, the irresponsible and the easily amused, we pause to reflect on the new season of TV programming.

We begin with a consideration of those goodies which arrive in our common rooms, freshbaked and straight out of the oven for the first time. This year's crop of new shows covers a wide expanse of artistic territory, from gritty cop dramas, to gritty district attorney dramas, to gritty private investigator dramas, to some really bad sitcoms.

David Caruso, back from his impressive work on such motion picture successes as "Jade," headlines "Michael Hayes," the story of an idealistic prosecutor who battles crime and never smiles. Kirstie Alley, also bearing the laurels of an auspicious foray into film, is the star of "Vernoica's Closet," a sophisticated comedy about women's undergarments. These two programs, representative of the larger offerings, are clearly not to be missed.

On the front of returning favorites, NBC's Must-See-TV lineup still offers the largest draw. Who can resist the exploits of Ross, the slightly awkward, yet sexually appealing Friend? Who can resist the adventures of Monica, the slightly neurotic and clearly anorexic Friend? And, how about our old pals at "Seinfeld?" We can all confidently look forward to another season characterized by clever plots, urbane, witty humor and more attractive women for Jerry to bed.

No tribute to TV's new season would be complete without mention of the venerable medical drama, "ER." Surely, no premiere was more anxiously anticipated than the much-touted live episode. On this, the morning after, we at Dartboard join you all in your disappointment that an extra didn't smack Dr. Weaver with her crutch.

So concludes our reflection on the current offerings of the television. We close with a message to those of you who believe that TV is a waste of time: while you enjoy your physics problem set, we'll be enjoying Rachel's sculpted rear.