NOT SO OPPORTUNE

During spring break, the Opportunes traveled to Jamaica--the third most dangerous country for motorists in the world. While traveling in a taxi an oncoming motorcyclist crashed into the car while going "about ninety," as one member described it. The biker was apparently a little unsure as to the correct lane for driving in Jamaica (it's the left). No one was seriously injured, but the accident sent one of the side view mirrors flying into the backseat where the frightened Opportunes were sitting.

COLD SHOWER

EMILY N. TABAK '00 was forced to go outside her Greenough dorm in pajamas and wet hair due to a fire drill during the blizzard on April 1. Tabak said she had been in the shower when the bell rang. "It was really cold out. My hair froze with shampoo in it," said Tabak of the incident.

CREW CRISIS

A sailboat guided by two novice sailors from a local club crashed into the third boat of the men's freshman crew team last Monday, causing the first four feet of the bow to go under the other boat and snap off. After the collision one of the men in the bow yelled, "We're screwed! Take off your shoes!" By backwatering to a nearby landing dock the team managed to avoid sinking, but the damage may be irreparable.

STUPID HUMAN TRICKS

During Harvard Model Congress Europe's trip to Madrid this Spring Break, ERIC J. BOLESH '00 showed off some of his talent by lighting a candle with his toes in the middle of a crowded Irish Bar. Not to be outdone, RYAN A. HACKNEY '97 one-upped Bolesh by proving that he could fit his entire fist in his mouth. Bolesh was impressed.

PIZZA AND HUMANITY

I was in a rush to get a snack for Bible lecture last week so I made a pitiful request to the others on the line for pizza: "Could I go ahead of you? Please." And, much to my surprise, all three people let me cut them and allowed me to purchase my slice. Though this event may seem trivial to you, it has restored my faith in humanity. Really. --Andrew K. Mandel '00

CALM UNDER FIRE

Fire fighters rushed to Dunster this weekend in response to an alarm set off in F-entryway, where a couple hundred students had packed into a three-floor party. Upon hearing a smoke alarm go off in one of the rooms (those annoying high-pitched safety devices that are easily turned off) one partygoer decided to see if it could be disabled by pulling the fire alarm outside the room (those bright red latches that, in all cases, bring in people with big red trucks and fire hoses and cannot be easily turned off). The partygoer said she contemplated explaining the situation to one of the fire fighters, but better judgment, in this case, prevailed.