Whatever happened to the days when parents were allowed to exercise whatever disciplinary measures they deemed necessary on their children, when the situation warranted it? Parents were allowed to reprimand their children when vulgar language was directed at them or when their behavior was out of control. Thirty, 40, and 50 years ago, children were better behaved and had a healthier respect for their parents. Most of the children grew up and became responsible citizens. History shows that the youths of today are committing more violent crimes at a younger age than they did 30, 40 and 50 years ago. The government claims that there is a breakdown in family values. This is true. However, I believe that part of the problem is the parents' loss of the right to control and discipline their children. The culprit of the problem is the Department of Social Services.

Today when you slap your child and cause pain, it's child abuse! The Department of Social Services has been given too much authority. I do not deny that there is a need for this organization. Children have a right to be protected when they have been sexually or physically abused. Children are taught about abuse in the schools. A small child of four, five or six is not likely to lie about being abused and immediate action should be taken to remove the child from the dangerous situation. However, older children know that they can manipulate the system by saying that they have been abused, when in fact they have not. Teenagers know that if they want to get even with their parent for being strict, they can claim physical or sexual abuse. Parents are often presumed guilty without a trial.

So many times parents are falsely accused, and their children taken away or one parent is forced to leave. DSS has the authority and power to tear families apart. Many times official charges are not brought against the accused parents. These children are placed into foster care. DSS controls the family unit by dictating to parents when and how often they can see their children. Once a parent is accused of child abuse, all disciplinary rights are taken away. Parents have little choice but to agree with what DSS dictates. DSS claims that if parents are unable to control a problem child, then the answer is to file a CHINS. Parents end up spending much of their time in court, the end result being that the child is placed in foster care.

Teenagers know that the court system is a joke and unless they commit a very serious crime, nothing will happen to them except being moved from foster home to foster home. No disciplinary action is taken, and they go on committing crimes and showing total lack of respect to their parents, school teachers and other authority figures. Many times, children grow up and become dysfunctional adults and not respectable citizens.

You may ask yourself "How would I know this?" The answer is that my family is one of those families torn apart by DSS. Over the past several years my family has gone through a lot of stress. I lost both my parents and a sister. My children, whom I love, have seen more deaths of loved ones than most children their age. I have tried to help them in any way I can to deal with their losses. Last summer I moved my family from Fitchburg to a rural area, hoping that the small town atmosphere and change of environment would be good for my children. Several things happened and problems escalated to the point where out of sheer frustration, their father slapped our oldest daughter across the face. The next day both of my children went to the school officials and I was informed that the incident would be reported to DSS. They did not even contact us until almost a week later. When the social worker came, he demanded that their father leave the house immediately or both of the children would be taken away. We had no choice but to comply with the order. He is not allowed to be alone with either of his children.

According to DSS, I am a neglectful mother and he is an abusive father. It took a couple of weeks before a social worker was assigned to our family. If he was such an abusive father, why did they wait almost a week before making contact? Four months have passed and we still are forced to comply with their rules. I let them know that we were foster parents from 1980 until 1989. We were told by case workers of the home finding division that we were one of the Fitchburg area's best teen foster homes. We tried to treat these children as members of our family and would offer them care and guidance. We still have contact with a few of our former foster children. If we were such neglectful and abusive parents, do you think so many children would have been placed in our care? Would there not be a list of documented incidences of neglect and abuse? We are presumed guilty without a trial.

What is happening to our children who are in the care of the DSS? A six year old boy was beaten to death in his home after the DSS gave a woman back her four children. There had been incidences of neglect and physical abuse dating back to 1989. Why did DSS give these children back to her after such a long history of abuse? In closing, I would like to ask who needs more protection, a rebellious teenager or an innocent child of six years? When I asked my social worker this question, her response was "We are not perfect." -Linda Parker   Orange, Massachusetts