My computer needs a user manual. While I am at it, I could use a handbook or two explaining how the food is chosen at this school, how the pathetic French department works and how to get my 50 pages worked-on-it-for-two-weeks-straight research papers back. But this week we are blessed with the publication of a Handbook on Race Relations. Just what I needed.

The ability of administrators to trivialize the issue of race at Harvard to be dealt with in a 34 page manual is insulting and horribly superficial. And what is more offensive is to put it on the web. Harvard makes things so wonderfully accessible!

I must say, in case Harvard administrators are not aware: a handbook and a web page cannot possibly solve problems which are rooted so deeply in ideology, problems which are more serious than my ink cartridge breaking or my CDs skipping. I can look those problems up in a handbook, but I refuse to do so with race relations.

Although it is nice to know that the College is making some attempt to address and reformulate procedures concerning race relations at this school, I see the handbook as some sort of self-congratulatory compilation to give administrators a hard copy of their "efforts."

Dean Epps' breathtaking essay entitled, "The Uses of Diversity," provides a most chilling historical account of past Harvard presidents' concerns about race relations at this school. Surprisingly, it pretty much says that everyone from Nathan Pusey, who served as president in the 19th century, to current president Neil L. Rudenstine has addressed race relations. Congrats, guys. Let's keep up the tradition for years to come. Address it, write an essay or two and pass the legacy on. Harvard is all about legacy anyway, huh?

Yet this is 1996, and this year was a big year for race relations in the United States, marked of course by the Million Man March. There must then be a contemporary piece: "Memorandum on the Million Man March and the Maturing of Black Politics," by professor Martin L. Kilson, Jr. I must admit that Kilson does address some relevant and important issues concerning race relations, primarily the national role of the NAACP in reference to the Million Man March. However, it might have been nice to address the reasons behind the Million Man March so that those who do not understand its positive influence in the area of race relations can begin to understand it. Instead of trying to tackle this perhaps too complicated issue, Kilson decides to emphasize in the opening paragraphs of his essay the fact that he has written tons of articles for national publications. Congrats, Kilson. What have you done for me lately?

Of course my favorite section in the handy-dandy handbook is the delightful and inspiring guide to overcoming incidents of racial harassment and/or insensitivity. It takes the harassed student through a three step process: how to file a complaint, informal resolution and filing a formal complaint. Seems to me, Harvard is still on the first step of many processes: denial, denial, denial.

I am curious to check out what must be a highly decorated and self-congratulatory web page. I wonder if there is a big picture of Dean Epps and Professor Kilson on the home page. What if there was a picture of every president who has ever mentioned the words race relations (because at this school, when you mention those words and you are in power, you earn respect even though you never do anything about it) and you could click on it for more information and get all excited to check out what has happened and then see...nothing.

The suffering race relations at Harvard are not analogous to my "on the blink computer." If my printer isn't printing, I can turn to page 47 for a checklist of possibilities and then fix it. But I can't really do that with race relations. It just doesn't work and it has an ugly flavor to it. Let me help y'all out: the key to fixing what is "broken" with race relations at Harvard lies not in fine tuning something on the surface-like tightening a screw. It lies in preventing it from getting broken in the first place. Try an Ethnic Studies program. Put that on the web.

Nancy Reine Reyes' column appears on alternate Saturdays.