The politicians running for national office may have finished spending their millions of dollars last month, but we appear to have our own batch of ambitious politicians seeking a significantly lower office on the national scale: that of the Harvard-Radcliffe Undergraduate Council presidency.

If the professional politicians could manage to spend collectively nearly two billion dollars running for House and Senate seats, surely we, too, can establish a system that would force council presidential candidates to spend at least a few thousand dollars to have a shot at the council title. Surely we can think up a perfectly awful system that requires one either to raise thousands of dollars or to be independently wealthy just to have a chance.

Imagine it: Lamelle D. Rawlins '99 holding a $100-a-plate dinner at Annenberg on a Friday night; Eric M. Nelson '99 approaching the Crimson Key Society for a "small gift" towards his campaign; the Fly final club meeting with Benjamin R. Kaplan '99, offering him a campaign contribution if he'll just do them this one small favor.

We could have special interest groups like an all-powerful conservative Peninsula contingent, a "Keep Cabot Library Open 24 Hours" lobby or a "F**k Randomization" Political Action Committee. Of course, there is a problem with this devilish scheme. The candidates do not have to spend very much money under the current system, so they are not in need of outside contributions. We can take care of this, too. Why not make the candidates pay for window space in the Yard? Those four lucky guys in Holworthy East could make a killing by charging, say, $100 per window. The residents of Canaday A could charge competitive prices as well. Even the rooms in Wigglesworth along Mass. Ave. could get in on the act.

Pins, T-shirts, multimedia "Vote For Me" CD-Roms, HRTV-aired campaign commercials, even a mad-dash, last-minute shuttle bus tour around campus could all become standard fare for the council presidential race. And it would all cost money!

Which candidate would have the savvy to strike a deal with retailers around Cambridge? "If you write me a nice little check," he or she could emptily offer to the Eddie Bauer store at the mall, "I'll make sure that the Cambridgeside Galleria is a regular stop on the Harvard shuttle bus route. " Kudos to the candidate who offers Kinko's free advertising on all campaign literature in exchange for free poster copying. Or the first one who gets a fat check from some Harvard alumnus with the proviso that the candidate, if elected, not try to push for any sort of ethnic studies because the alum thinks it's all bunk.

All these changes in the council campaign process would raise the level of debate among candidates, increase voter awareness, engage the constituency and make the campaign overall a better, more democratic process. Allowing groups to support their favorite candidates financially would cause silenced voices to be heard, forgotten issues to be raised. Most importantly, however, Harvard politicians would finally be ready for Washington, D.C.

Allow Dartboard to be the first to suggest such council campaign finance reform.