An editorial that appeared in The Crimson last week extolled the virtues of Celebration, Florida (the "Disney Utopia"). Here's a response in lyrical format from the musical that I wrote with Adam J. Levitin '98 called "Small World Order," which opens at Loeb Ex on October 24. The premise is that Disney wouldn't have sunk $2 billion into Celebration unless it expected big returns-- say, national rule. Imagine Disney towns sprouting up all over the country....
There are two voices in this song: The Disneyites and the international terrorists (in parentheses) who are decidedly anti-Celebration. Here goes! Imagine music:
A perfect place/ Of world renown/ Reserve a space/ In a Disney Town!
We're sending out an invitation, all across this mighty nation.../ Now's the time for relocation to a town like Celebration!/ Say you're out of butter and you'd like to get some more./ Or you need some safe detergent for the kitchen floor./ Just send your children over to the local Country Store!/ That's what Country Stores are for.
(But if, for some odd reason, you neglect to make a wage/ That's high enough to land you in this gilded age,/ You'll spend your time where gangs and crime and drugs still rage./ That's the cage they call "Offstage.")
Work and play in Amity, Contentment, or Benevolence!/ Thrive without calamity, resentment or malevolence!/ You're filling out a crossword when you hear a friendly knock./ You say, "Come right on in! We never use the lock!"
And in comes Old Man Ferguson from just around the block--/ (I can't stand this crock of schlock!)/ The Town Police make sure you never see yourself a bum./ The Litter Agents sweep Offstage the smallest crumb./ The cleanliness can numb you; where'd they stash away the scum?/ We're not dumb; it's in the slum.)
Stroll the streets of Happiville, or frolic in Love Landing!/ Set up shop in Peace, Goodwill or Mutual Understanding!/ Now is no time for hesitation.
Make an early reservation!
We're not talking one vacation;
This'll be a mass migration!
You'll find rest and relaxation,
Happy times without cessation,
Order, fun and cultivation
In a town like Celebration!
Come and live in Celebration!/ (It's a total inundation!)/ Jubilation! Pure, misguided isolation!/ Exultation! Listen to our condemnation!/ Liberation! This is mere idealization!/ Exclamation! Mutilation!
Inspiration! Desecration!
Enervation! Immolation!
Satiation! Nauseation!
Everywhere across this nation
There's a cause for celebration! --Douglas B. Rand '98
Read more in Opinion
Learning From DiversityRecommended Articles
-
A New 'Happiest Place on Earth'I n the most recent episode of the baby boomers' never-ending quest to turn all of life into one big
-
In Salem, A Skewed History LessonStanding outside the entrance to the graveyard in Salem, Mass., on Halloween night, they looked a little out of place:
-
Laboratory of Arts and Sciences -
The Kong Celebrates Chinese New Year -
Let Them Eat CakeWe regret that the University chose to put forth such a garish image at a time as austere as this one.
-
Harvard Turns 350The festivities, which drew 44,000 attendees, were part of one of the largest and most extravagant birthday parties the country has ever seen and brought together members of the Harvard community from the class of 1918 to the Class of 1990.
