Take that, U.S. News & World Report!

Okay, that was an immature comment against perhaps the most idiotic and overreported thing this century, but I'm feeling a little immature at the moment. We won, they lost, nyah, nyah, nyah.

I'm referring to Saturday, of course, otherwise known as The Day Our Teams Beat Yale's Teams. Men's soccer won in overtime, 4-3. Women's soccer won on a last-minute goal, 2-1. Field hockey won in double-overtime, 2-1.

Safety school!

Okay, okay, that was also another rather immature comment, but one can argue that the entire Harvard-Yale rivalry is one of immaturity. I mean, who should care if so-and-so's cricket team can whoop so-and-so's butt?

And who cares if this school can pretty much always blast that school in any sport?

Well, as a society we do place a high status upon these things, so I feel completely justified in acting like a childish jerk.

Eli! Bulldog! Lose, lose, lose!

Now that all those moral issues have been settled, we can delve further into the topic at hand: Why did all of Yale's teams wilt like the California Angels when crunch time came? Here are several possibilities:

1. The Dean Lewis Factor. While covering the field hockey game, I happened to see a solitary figure scamper into the stands. After a quick double-take, I realized it was none other than His Majesty Harry R. Lewis '68, Chief Maharajah of the College.

He was wearing a jacket and tie, which made him stand out a bit, but deans are allowed to do that sort of thing. Anyway, the field hockey team had a very slow start but slowly got better and better, and by the overtime periods the Crimson players were running around the hapless Bulldogs.

Then I went to the men's soccer game, which started about a half hour after the field hockey game ended.

During the second half, I mentioned to a fellow reporter, Mike Ginsberg, that I had seen Big Harry at the field hockey game, and he told me that Lewis was in the soccer stands even as we spoke.

And wouldn't you know it, the men's soccer team won as well--in overtime, no less. I don't know if he was at the women's soccer game as well, but I'd guess that he was--I mean, what's the point in only doing two out of three?

And I don't know if his mere presence was enough to guarantee Harvard victories. However, one could argue that with Dean Lewis there, the outcome of the game surely isn't random.