If you believe Harvard students are politically apathetic, you obviously haven't heard of the Leverett House Juice Referendum.

In a highly controversial move, students took charge of their fates last week and voted to change grape, punch and grapefruit juice for apple, pineapple, and cranberry. Orange juice, that indispensable part of the breakfast canon, will retain its hallowed place on the far left side of the dispenser.

But wait. Where was this zeal during the vote on Cambridge rent control? Are these the same students who slept through the Republican takeover of Congress, who think that Chechnya is the latest version of Tetris?

Apparently, nothing gets Harvard's political juices flowing like...well, juice itself. Dining halls across campus echo with whines over juice selection. Adams has six juices, Currier only two. Sob, sob.

Read on, complainers, for today is your lucky day. With the FM Guide to Juices, you may partake of your favorite nectars whenever you desire (pending interhouse restrictions, that is). Going on a health kick? Head for the grapefruit juice dispensers at Mather and North. Looking for some fun with grape and pineapple? Try a little mixing at Adams.

Go on, be creative. With your dining dollars already spent, you might as well make them work for you.