At the end of the '95 spring semester, I noticed some quotes from my editorials on the "Out of Context" page of Peninsula magazine. If you've never seen it before, Peninsula is a monthly Harvard student publication that attempts to blend the teachings of Jesus, free market and libertarian ideologies with the racial sensibilities of David Duke. Mainly, it serves as a monument to self-righteous hubris, but when I first saw a copy of Peninsula at my door, I wondered why Dean Epps had allowed trash to be door-dropped.

The May 1995 Peninsula labels me a "probable affirmative action admit." Nothing could be further from the truth. I am, in fact, a definite affirmative action admit. The only reason that I am at Harvard is because of my Black ancestry. I have no academic credentials. My high school grades were barely passing, my combined SAT score would not even make me eligible for NCAA competition. In fact, my admission was yet another tragic case of reverse discrimination--a talented white, Jewish or Asian student was turned away to make room for me in the name of "diversity."

A footnote to Peninsula's feeble attempt at humor/race baiting read: "While it is statistically likely that David W. Brown is at Harvard due to affirmative action in admissions, many liberals will still be offended by our use of this label. Our question: If affirmative action is such a good thing, why aren't those who benefit from it proud of that fact?"

Well, that sure makes sense. If your ethnicity counts as one positive factor in your admissions (which is true for all Black students), then why not wish to be identified solely by that one factor? That is, Black students who benefit from affirmative action policies are merely affirmative action admits. Why would Black students want to be recognized simply as students, like all of their other classmates? Let's just focus on Black students' racial identities. That is the only reason that they are at Harvard.

But since the Peninsula is willing to follow this suspect logic, will it start referring to track stars as probable athletic admits? Coming from Wyoming can be a plus--are such students probable geographic admits? Are accomplished violinists probable musician admits? What about students whose parents attended Harvard? Are they probable legacy admits? What about a Black student who plays baseball whose father attended Harvard? Is he a probable affirmative action-athletic-legacy admit? More importantly, when will Peninsula start trying to indirectly undermine the qualifications of white students? Or will only Blacks be targets?

The Peninsula, which bills itself as "Harvard's Only Conservative Publication," illustrates what most Blacks have known for years--scratch the surface of seemingly pious, morally upstanding conservatism and you will often discern the unmistakable stench of racism. Last year, the Peninsula bashed immigrants, supported racist Bell Curve theories, and repeatedly mocked Black people, Black leaders, and Black culture.

However, the Peninsula does provide one essential service. Without a lot of double talk or innuendo, it spells out the pathological aspects of conservative thought. I don't have to decipher the Peninsula too much to know where my enemies stand. Hunter S. Thompson once wrote that "as long as Nixon was politically alive...we could always be sure of finding the enemy on the Low Road. There was no need to look anywhere else for the evil bastard." The Peninsula performs the same function: it is a kind of moral compass.

And when the Peninsula jeers my work and my status as a Harvard student, I know that I have to be on the right track. It's sort of like ending up on Nixon's enemies list or in an FBI file of "subversives"--a backhanded sort of compliment. Reading Peninsula often gives me the renewed encouragement and motivation to beat the devil(s).

However, I do have some advice for all the of the Council, Guardians and Auxiliares of Peninsula (sounds like a wannabe militia, doesn't it?). If you were really as tough as you fancy yourselves to be, you would have called me what you really meant--probable nigger admit David W. Brown.

David W. Brown's column appears on alternate Wednesdays.