Like many students this semester, I decided to purchase an Ethernet interface to connect my computer to Harvard's High-Speed Data Network (HSDN). In the three weeks since "booking up," I've developed both sympathy and antipathy toward HASCS, the group that administrates the network.

Things began well. I took a walk (more like a long jog) to the new Technology Product Center showroom, took a number (literally!) and waited in line.

Once my number was called, I learned that HASCS maintains a list of "favored" Ethernet interfaces for the commonest PCs on campus. I didn't dare purchase a product of my own choosing, lest I incur the wrath of Bill Ouchark, god of the net managers.

So I trundled off to the Science Center, interface and data jack number in hand, and processed my info using the snazzy new "NetConnect" program. Within one day, my network connection was activated and working. All hail Bill!

While the net managers should be applauded for their logistical prowess in getting thousands of undergrads online in the space of two weeks, their user support desk deserves to be pelted with virtual tomatoes (or at least staffed with more folks).

After a few days of cavorting online, I encountered an ominous error message suggesting that I call the user support desk at 5-9000. So I did. And immediately after pressing "3 to speak with a user consultant," I was disconnected. So I called back, only to be rebuffed again.

Finally, on my fifth attempt, I got a voice message indicating that I should wait for the next available consultant. No problem, I thought.

Half an hour later (thank goodness for speakerphones!), a tired voice picked up. The user consultant asked me what my problem was.

"My network connection isn't working anymore."

"What kind of computer are you using?"

"An IBM PC-compatible."

"Try typing STARTNET, What do you see?" ...

I told him what I saw on-screen.

"I'm sorry, but I've exhausted all my resources. Let me take your name and number and someone else will call you back."

"How soon?"

"I don't know."

"Several days later, I got a call from an unfamiliar young woman who wanted to come to my room in fifteen minutes. My lucky day! Then I realized that this visit must be related to my "exhaustive" conversation with the user consultant at HASCS (no young woman would ever offer to come to my room for any other reason).

The young woman sat at my computer and fiddled with my system files while I sat and read voraciously for my classes (right!). Twenty minutes later, she rose from a cloud of dust and electrons to announce that my computer was fixed. The solution? Disconnect my sound card.

So now my computer no longer has a sound card, but at least I'm back on the Infobahn.

Next time...FAS Computing Services and the meaning of life.

Eugene Koh '96-'97 writes about technology issues for the Crimson. He may be contacted online as ekoh@fas.harvard.edu. The above article was derived from the real experience of two Harvard undergraduates. No significans details were distorted