This year's Freshman Week "Love Story" bonding ritual was a gentler version of the traditionally morbid commentary, with no jokes about death, dying or disease.

Instead, the Crimson Key Society used other, apparently less offensive topics: sex, masturbation and actress Allie McGraw's ugliness.

"We've made it a kinder, gentler, rendition of the lines," said Crimson Key member Brian J. Shortsleeve '95.

The performance also featured a kazoo overture and free tissues for the emotionally overwrought.

"The lines are just to throw out some light-hearted fun," said Crimson Key Co-Chair Eryn E. Ament.

The commentary is part of a Crimson Key oral tradition passed down and adjusted from year to year.

This year, first-year attendance was high. Students were turned away from the nine p.m. showing in Science Center B and C.

Students came for jokes, they said, not for quality cinema.

"I just wanted to see if the commentary was as good as they say," said Ante Skrabalo '98.

Most of those attending described the film as "cheesy," and reactions to the commentary were mixed.

"They were hysterical," said William G. Nee '98.

But others felt differently.

"The crass comments relating to sex were overdone," said Islea Morales '98.