I'm into trivia. Sports minutiae of all shapes and sizes. Famous Brazillian soccer players. Past winners of the Masters--every year back to 1934. Great pitching rotations of the seventies. Things like that.

Often I spring such questions on my friends. Like, say, "What four teams were in the 1986 NCAA Basketball Final four?" A true tip-in, this: Louisville, Duke, Kansas and LSU.

If I'm in a particularly foul mood, I'll get tougher: "who kicked the game-winning field goal in Super Bowl V?" Jim O'Brien, Baltimore Colts, to defeat Dallas 16-13.

And if I'm really pissed off, I might go for the jugular: "But can you name five players on the San Jose Sharks?"

I gave this to one of my friends the other day; much to my surprise he said that he thought he could get it.

"OK, OK, um....Irbe!"

Arturs Irbe, the brilliant Lativian goalie. "Yep, that's one."

"Uh, uh...Herbert, Herbert whatever his name is?"

I gave him partial credit; Guy Hebert plays for another expansion, the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim. "That's pitiful. Are You reading the listing off of the Sega Genesis game or are you just reciting them from memory?"

"That's not fair. OK, how about someone named Garpenlov?"

"Yes Johan Garpenlov; he got the game-winner in Game Four against the Red Wings, methinks."

"Oh, I'm so close. Karpov?"

"No, he plays chess."

"Damn. Oh I give up."

Nobody knows who these guys are. Unbelievable: the San Jose Sharks have already flashed past Detroit, the Western Conference number-one seed coming into the playoffs, and now they have stolen the home-ice advantage from third-seeded Toronto and what people remember is a roster sounding like a role call from the Russian Republics.