Chances are, come midnight tonight, you'll find me at the Kong. Sure, the food is greasy and about as subtle as the Harvard Band. All right, so the service is frightening, with waiters frequently muttering unintelligible curses at you for requesting more water. And the prices--well, they even have the nerve to charge for rice.

Still, come midnight I'll most likely be sitting in one of those cheesy booths--the ones with duct tape patching tears in the red vinyl--and the sad thing is, I probably won't even be having a scorpion bowl.

Why? Why would I subject myself to such indigestion of the bowels and brain? Is it the strange allure of Peking ravs soaked in lard?

No, it's not the ravs, nor the scorpion bowls, nor even the scallion pancakes. The reason I frequent the Hong Kong is that I'm a first-year who, late at night, is hungry as hell and sick of pizza. Unlike my upperclass counterparts, I have no house grille to provide me with solace (or at least a grilled cheese and tomato). I have no other place to go.

And I've reached a decision. Enough of the Kong. We need a first-year Grille.

The need is particularly evident du-ring exam-time. Over reading Period and during tests, first-years stay up late studying just like upperclass students. Each night, around 1 a.m., the effects of the satisfying Union meals with which they stuff themselves begin to wear off.

This usually means a doughnut run to Store 24, or a pizza delivery, or, of course, the Kong. Yet these options grow tiresome. Is there any reason that first-years should not have as much access to a variety of meals as their elders?

The crisis--for it is a crisis--is not limited to exam week. Most of the first-years I know don't go to bed regularly at 11 p.m. sharp, even on nights when they don't have to study. Moreover, a trip to the Union for breakfast on any given day indicates that most first-years skip that most important meal on a regular basis. This would indicate that a third meal is due during the wee hours of the night.

It's not just that most of us want a grilled cheese at 1 a.m. We need that grilled cheese. For us, it's breakfast food.

Harvard does have plans to build a student center in the basement of Mem Hall, and chances are, there'll be a First-year Grill there one day. But how long must we wait? Why can't next year's first-year class have something to tide them over?

There is no doubt that such a project would require significant organization and planning. Perhaps it is beneath the Undergraduate Council's dignity to deign to deal with such issues as selling burgers and frozen yogurt.

Even so, if some of the elected first-year officials would condescend to organize such an endeavor, the results would be worthwhile. People would come.

Heck, if run properly, a First-Year Grill may even turn a profit. Maybe then the council wouldn't need a fee hike quite so badly.