Some Old Bullshit

The Beastie Boys

Grand Royal

I love the Beastie Boys. I once even had a dream, after seeing them live, that I was hanging out with Mike D. They're a bunch of East Coast Jewish boys who have turned their lives into a weird fantasy, and they know it. They date movie stars. They have their own recording studio in California, with a skating ramp and a basketball hoop. They just started their won record label. They have a fanzine, except that since they're big stars, it looks a real magazine. When they get interviewed they point out all of these things, and say "Isn't this crazy?" When, on their last LP Check Your Head, Mike D raps "I live my life just how I like to," it is clearly more than commonplace rap bravado. These guys have it made. They're also in credibly stylish: they started bringing back the '70s way before anyone else thought it was hip (check out their seminal video for "Hey Ladies"). Next time you see a crowd of kids in cool old-style sneakers (Gazelles, Shell-Toes, One Stars) remember that we can thank the B-Boys in large part for this wonderful fashion trend. There's some new magazine that has a picture of Mike D standing in front of an old sports car wearing suede Pumas and a gorgeous red velour Lacoste shirt! I could just die.

"I'm not saying that to live in L.A. and date movie stars and be a rock star and wear cool sneakers is anything special, mind you. What's so great about these three men (who are nearing thirty) is how amazed they themselves are by it all, and how easy it is to identify with them, especially if you too are a East Coast a East Coast Jewish boy with a rock band.

It's entirely possible that three spoiled young brats with their own recording studio with a skating rink would produce self-indulgent, boring music only fit for imbecilic potheads; I guess there are those who think of the Beasties' music this way. Most of us don't however: anyone with an interest in hip hop realizes the debt this genre owes to the Beasties. With their debut LP, the smash hit Licensed To Ill, they, along with Rick Rubin, helped introduce heavy metal and other rock influences to rap. (Go listen to the Ghetto Boyz song that samples "Sweet Home Alabama" at half-speed for one of a million examples of how this has spread.) The underappreciated follow-up, Paul's Boutique (my personal favorite Beasties record), was one of the first rap albums to feature crazily layered funk samples and undermixed vocals. Along with De La Soul's Three Feet High and Rising, I think that this is one of the most influential rap records ever. Even if the "mellow rap" legacy is being threatened right now, the pure funk of Paul's Boutique is alive and well--in Dr. Dre's hands among others. The Beastie Boys' most recent offering, Check Your Head, features a mix of sampling and live performance, another new and powerful trend. And remember, this is from white guys! The only people in rap to diss them are some other white guys, Third Base, who have chronic credibility anxiety.

There was a time when the Beastie Boys were boring and run of the mill, however. This was in their early days as a New York hardcore band. They put out a couple of records which you always find lying around record stores. They're interesting curiosities, but I never, ever think of buying one. It seems that they are now "out of print" and unavailable, though I could swear I saw "Pollywog Stew" in the bins at Newbury Comics just yesterday. Well, if you have always wanted a CD that compiles all of these early works, there is now one available on their own Grand Royal Records, aptly titled Some Old Bullshit. As my roommate explained, "If you don't already have this stuff, you don't need it." Man, is it bad! I like good hardcore, like Minor Threat or Negative Approach, but these guys sucked. It sounds like they were having fun, but it's no fun to listen to. The last song, "Cookypuss," shows their shift towards rap: it features sampled horn and drumbeat, and has a lot of voice over crank calls to Carvel's. It was even fun to listen to, for about thirty seconds.

Even though this CD is so bad, it doesn't make me respect them any less. I mean, look what they called it--they're not trying to fool anyone. In the liner notes, Mike D explains, "now that we've gotten our shit together to some extent as far as having a label, it seemed like a good time to try and make this stuff available together in one joint for a reasonable sum," The words "make this stuff available" get it just right: these songs are now available, if you rally want them. They make no pretense of bringing you something special, or busting out with some fresh tunes--which is what we can expect from their next studio LP, supposedly entitledIll Communication. They're a pretty popularband, and I can believe that there exist devotedBeasties fans who can't get their hands on theserecords and wish they could. This record is forthem. If you're one of them, however, you alreadyown this disc, because it's been out for weeks.Save your cash for the new LP