We're excited about the new Pedro Almodovar movie, which will be released in New York in May. We think Almodovar is great; we concede that he's misogynistic, but we like him anyway. His movies are always really nice looking with lots of bright colors. That one actress he uses, the one with the crooked nose, has a weird and compelling face worthy of Fellini. She will be in the new movie, whose title we can't remember. Even better, Gaultier and Versace will be doing the costuming. Caramba.

The first day of spring occurred last week. Our thoughts turned to the approach of warm weather, and with it, the sluffing off of winter garments, and with that, the unavoidability of baring some of our flesh, and with that the need to diet.

We let out a surprised yelp when that insidious little thought entered our head. We don't want to diet. We hate dieting! We shouldn't have to be thin, and if you think we should, you can go to hell.

We are so sick of school we think we might go crazy.

We're sick of sitting in our little room doing our little homework.

We're sick of writing dumb papers.

We're sick of the idiots in our sections.

We're sick of the dining hall, and the wretched slop it calls hummus.

We're sick of the person who lives next door.

We're sick of getting up in the morning.

We're sick of going to bed at night.

We're sick of our frightening nightmares (the other night we dreamt that there were weeds growing out of our chin).

We fantasize about throwing it all away and becoming a rock and roll star, but we never will, because we're lame.

We're sick of being lame.