How come Lowell gets Golden Grahams and Leverett doesn't?

Probably because residents of Leverett didn't request the cereal vehemently enough. If you're cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, complain to your dining hall.

This week, FM's Harvard Under Glass Team trekked all across campus to investigate each and every house's salad bar and cereal selection. What it found after its exhausting journey will be of significant help to the discriminating interhouser. And if your brain tells you that inter-housing requires too much walking, maybe your stomach will tell you otherwise.

FM's sleuthing revealed that Adams House offers the most diversity to the discerning palate. Entire shelves of cereal boxes (the Adams hauteur demands the classic elegance of the cardboard box, instead of the plastic turn-and-grind dispensers present in almost all other houses) form a spectrum of brandnames as varied as the house's inhabitants.

The Adams salad bar is bedecked with all manner of vegetable delights and boasts a wider variety of condiments than any other dining hall. In fact, pickled peppers and poppyseed dressing are exclusive to Adams Houses.

Other house specialties include Currier's bamboo shoots, which grow only in the quad's northern climate. Kirkland gets jalapeno peppers; Leverett gets baby corn. Adams, Lowell and Quincy salad bars offer beets. Only Lowell offers lemon pepper vinaigrette.

Rarities exist among cereal brands as well. Adams House, always the trendsetter, deserves kudos from the health-conscious for its Shredded Wheat and Frosted Mini-Wheats, although most other houses receive daily supplies of Shredded Wheat Spoon Size.

Only Lowell gets Golden Grahams; as Lowellian Mike W. Chen '96 puts it, "Only Lowell's good enough to be golden." Quincy is the proud, sole recipient of Apple-Cinnamon Cheerios. Quincy and Adams share bragging rights to Complete Bran Flakes.

And only residents of Winthrop, Currier and Cabot are fueled every morning with Wheaties, breakfast of champions. When Harvard Under Glass last checked, only Currier carried Cocoa Krispies; however, the chocolate version of Snap, Crackle and Pop has been found at Quincy in the recent past.

Suprisingly enough, Harvard students, however, can't afford to consider croutons standard issue. Cabot, Currier Dunster, Mather and North salads all lack the crouton crackle.

According to Michael Miller, Harvard Dining Hall Services' (HDHS) coordinator of production training and quality assurance, a computerized menu system forecasts student dining preferences based on the success of past menus. Not only does this promise a nutritionally well balanced meal, it also ensures that students won't suffer through three consecutive days of American Chop Suey.

But salad bar items and cereal brands aren't included in the computer's database. Your salad bar and cereal selection is the evolving bequest of your house's erstwhile in habitants. The more your housemates clamor for garbanzo beans, the more garbanzo beans you'll see. The same goes for salad dressings and cereals.

But don't go running to your friendly dining hall employee about acquiring some exotic, super-sweetened cereal. HDHS is supplied by a limited number of vendors who carry only certain cereal brandnames. Chocolate coated Frosted Sugar Bombs are out of the question.

And beside, Trix are for kids.