There is a war raging in the streets of Cambridge, a constant battle between pedestrians and cars. Aggressive street-crossers dart in front of on-rushing traffic, reckless drivers show no mercy. At first glance, it seems that the care, fast and lithe, have a clear advantage over the pedestrians. Careful observation, however, reveals that pedestrians have one highly effective weapon at their disposal--the crosswalk button.

By merely extending his or her finger, pedestrian can control traffic signals, turning green lights read and bringing cars to a virtual standstill. But how powerful is the cross-walk button? can it really turn a traffic light red or is it simply a ruse devised to calm impatient street-crossers? according to Don Burgess associate traffic engineer at the Boston Department of Transportation, the answer is yes and yes.

"In some cases the walk signals are pre-programmed to work anyway," says Burgess. In these instances, pressing the button accomplishes nothing At other intersections, however, burgess claims that pressing the corsswalk button means "the difference between the light ever turning on and not at all."

Burgess believes that Cambridge pedestrains have a harder time crossing streets than their Boston counterparts." The streets are narrower, and [Cambridge allows] traffic to turn across a walk. there is less of that in Boston." If cars are permitted to turn gained total cross-walk hegemony.

Heroic Professor of Classical Greek and Comparitive Literature Gregory Nagy is concerned with the socio-cultural implications of cross-walk wars. "If the signal is a defiant stopping humanoid in red and a cheerful walking humanoid in green, then I would not [press the button]," says Nagy. "There is not enough semiotic power," Semiotic power?" Anyone who took Heroes would know what I mean."

Nagy's analysis of cross-walk semiology was less than interesting to a group of first-years who, sitting in the Union, concerned themselves with cross walk button epistemiology. Does pressing the damn thing make the light change any faster? Andy T. Hu '97 claims that the buttons never work. "it's big lie the government is trying to feed us and we're sick of it," says Hu. "A time will come when people will cross and the street whenever they please. That time is now."

A more clam commentator, Debra R. Maltenfort '97, is convinced that crosswalk buttons change lights from green to red. "I press it," she admits. "If I don't press it I feel it would take me longer to cross the street."

Shine May Hung '97 thinks the buttons are "there for psychological reasons." She presses them, though "only for fun."

So do the buttons really work? FM put the crosswalk button at the intersection of Throwbridge and Harvard streets the test. The results? Careful research has shown that pressing this button means the difference between getting a walk signal and waiting eternally.

For once, Cambridge's cynics have been proven wrong. Before these cynics can be shown the door, however, it must to be noted that most walkers brazenly wade into traffic without regard for traffic signals or crosswalk buttons. Of course this isn't all that surprising. After all, who has time for walk signals in a war zone?