The day before Thanksgiving, the doctors told Brent J. Foster '97 that the cancer he has been fighting for eight years had returned in an inoperable form. He has "several weeks to a few months" to live, the physicians say.

Death is not often discussed around campus, and Foster has felt the separation. He leaves for home on Wednesday, and while he wants to finish out the semester in January, it's not certain whether he'll be back.

"I feel here at Harvard that I'm a mortal in the land of the immortals," he says.

Foster hasn't reacted in the expected ways. He hasn't started travelling, he hasn't returned home to lows and he hasn't tried to pack a full life's worth of living into a few weeks. Instead, Foster, a history concentrator, is still attending classes and writing papers.

"He's so upbeat and joyful, it's easy to miss the fact that he's in pain," says friend Elizabeth S. Dinonno '97.

But Foster says he is not in denial. He understands that he is likely to die and talks about it calmly.

"I feel this unnatural peace," he says. "And when you look at it from a worldly standpoint, it really isn't the way I should be acting."

"I mean, here I am, a Harvard student in the prime of my life. I've enjoyed so much success over my life and I have such a bright future ahead of me and now it's being cut short. There's so much I haven't experienced."

Foster then cites Shadowlands, the story of author C.S. Lewis' marriage to a dying Joy Davidmen, and says, "All the good things in this life are just a shadow of the real world with God."

Foster is deeply religious and is a member of Harvard-Radcliffe Christian Fellowhip, where he leads a first-years' Bible study and is on the fellowship drama team. Because of his faith, he says he isn't scared of death itself.

"Cancer is a horrible way to die," he says. "It can be slow and painful. I really fear that, but I don't really fear dying because this is only the beginning. Real life begins with God."

His friends appreciate his opti- mism.

"With the prospect of dying he isn't hopeless," says R. Michael Lopez '97. "He's not just defeatist. He knows he already has what he needs. He has something to look forward to."

Foster's fight with cancer began with a routine eighth-grade football physical. It revealed an abnormality in his left ankle, which led to a trip to the Mayo Clinic, a bone cancer diagnosis and the sudden loss of his left leg.

"They told me [about the cancer] one day, sent me off to lunch to think about it, and then amputated the next day," he says.

His prosthetic leg is not very obvious. Dinonno recalls that during a Christian fellowship retreat. Foster was leading a follow-the-leader game, and all but one player had been eliminated.