The retreat of Rudenstine has all the trappings of a literary tragedy. The noble leader, beset by troubles on all sides, takes his charge too close to heart and (nearly, in this case) hastens his own demise. What better way could Dartboard bemoan this doleful turn of events than to call on its dearly departed bard to contribute a soul-stirring bit of poesy:
Alas, our valiant Rudenstine
tried to draw a strong, firm line
against professors pension claims
growing fatter all the time,
but the faculty exclaims
"with our goodies, play no games!"
defending privilege dearly won,
though on "fairness" they declaim.
and say they study just for fun,
while the Press they crucially dun
for their ostrich-sized "nest eggs."
Meanwhile Rudy wants to run
far away, but finds his legs
grasped by those scholastic dregs
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The Theology of Marine Biology
