Lately, the Harvard fans have gotten a lot of abuse.

Fellow sports cubist David Griffel chastised them for their tranquility. And then the news department comes out with a story about how attendance is down at football games.

And you know what, so-called sports fans? You ain't seen nothing yet.

I'm mad at you. No, I'm not mad, I'm pissed. No, I'm not pissed, I'm utterly infuriated.

Because you all just suck.

Do you remember where you were at 2:30 on October 11? Well, I know where you weren't.

That's because I was the only, I repeat, the only person sitting on the stands behind the Harvard field hockey bench at the start of their game. William and Mary had about 20 parents present then, and during the player introductions they were clapping and cheering.

When it was Harvard's turn, only players cheered, since reporters like me can't show partiality.

The fact that no one cared enough to show up--that's just said.

Oh, some people come--friends or roommates of players, usually. And these brave souls ought to be sainted.

But fans don't come in flocks, numbers that would cause the other team to notice.

When was the last time that someone in your entryway take part in a musical or play? Did you go, feeling a sense of duty, even if you wouldn't have otherwise?

Most people would answer "yes" to that. When somebody is in an a capella concert, or Bach Society, or whatever, and this person has a performance, he or she will ask every acquaintance to attend.

But have you ever seen a women's soccer player do that? Both the men's and the women's teams have a shot at winning the Ivy League title, but have you ever been to a game? How about water polo? (Yes, there are men's and women's teams, and you shouldn't have had to ask) Lacrosse? Tennis?

How about baseball, dammit?