Funerals--even celebrities' funerals--don't make for particularly exciting stories. The ceremonies are usually private, and the mourners solemn, not very talkative.

Still, reporting Monday's funeral of Thomas P. "Tip" O'Neill Jr. was anything but a somber experience.

The day started at 7:45 a.m. at the White Hen Pantry in Porter Square, where Crimson reporter met Crimson photographer for the cold walk down Massachusetts Avenue to Saint John the Evangelist Church in North Cambridge. On the way, a Boston Police Bomb Squad van sped by, followed closely by two squad cars.

By 8 a.m., upon reaching the church, Cambridge and state police had blocked off Mass. Ave. with 2,500 feet of iron fencing. Parked cars left unattended were towed (potential bomb threats). All pedestrians were steered away from the area surrounding the church.

On the steps of the church, more than a dozen television cameras were already set up and photographers and members of the print media were taking their places. A state trooper with a bomb-sniffing Labrador retriever was scouring the church grounds.

At 8:10 the head of the advance Secret Service team for Vice President Al Gore '69 announced that all members of the media had to produce identification and social security numbers in order to receive a press credential. A handful of other agents inspected all camera bags and electronic equipment for bombs, weapons or miscellaneous explosive devices.

With Mass. Ave. barricaded at both ends, the thoroughfare was empty. At 8:30 a bus, with no lights and a sign which read "OUT OF SERVICE," stopped in front of the church. Approximately 50 Secret Service agents, most wearing the infamous standard-issue trenchcoats and all with earpieces in place, stepped out and proceeded to the rear of the church. They were professionals--stoic and unflinching in the below-zero-wind-chill air. The agents conducted a "sweep" of the church and stationed agents inside and out.

By 9 a.m. the members of the media were cold and bored. No one could go for coffee or food because "the area had been secured." Once outside the iron gates, which were to hold back the crowd of 700 mourners, there was no return to the press area.

9:15: Down the deserted street proceeded a motorcade of minivans, all bearing noticeably few markings. Fifteen minutes earlier, the vice president had landed at the Bedford, Mass., airfield. These were his advance agents.

By 9:30 the wind had picked up and the sun had started hiding behind intermittent clouds. The press corps was getting colder. Were there any reporters inside the church in the warmth? Oh yes, a few.

At the wishes of the O'Neill family, all print media were kept outside in the cold except for one reporter each from The New York Times, The Boston Globe, The Boston Herald, The Associated Press, and the Cambridge Chronicle.

Reuters? Too bad. U.P.I.? Sorry. The L.A. Times? Nope. The Miami Herald? No admittance.

Needless to say, a Crimson reporter's prospects for getting inside the church to witness the funeral did not look promising. That, however, never stops an intrepid reporter in search of a story.

First try: Crimson reporter walks in the church, right past two police officers and a Secret Service agent. No questions, no problem. The reporter sashays up next to a 50-something man who, pen and pad in hand, also looks like a reporter.

The man introduces himself: "Adam Clymer, New York Times."