Blistering, oppressive, withering, strength-sapping heat threatens to ruin your health, your day, your very sanity.

It's not supposed to be this hot here, you think, remembering how superior you felt to friends who were spending their summers in Miami or Phoenix.

The weather report on the radio says today, tomorrow, Sunday and Monday will bring more of the same: hazy, hot and humid weather with highs in the low 90s.

Some will grit it out, sweating profusely and coming dangerously close o heat exhaustion or heat stroke. Others--the smart ones--will take The Crimson's advice on how to stay cool. Any one of these 17 sure-fire methods will provide some much-needed relief from the heat.

1. Lawn sprinklers. The grass in Harvard Yard must be green, no matter how hot it gets. Is it fair for vegetation--mere grass, for goodness sakes--to bathe in the cool sprays of refreshing water while you walk by boiling? Of course not.

The technique: Walk through the sprinkler spray.

Advantages: The water is cold and will cool you off effectively and quickly. Your wet clothes will keep you cool as the water evaporates.

Disadvantages: The sprinklers usually go on in the evening, when it's starting to cool off anyway.

Variations: Run through the sprinkler spray. Sit or stand on a sprinkler head.

2. Ice cream. The Harvard Square area of Cambridge is a mecca for ice cream lovers. Baskin-Robbins, Herrell's, Swenson's, Steve's, Christina's, Emack and Bolio's and Toscanini's are all within walking distance.

The technique: Order a cone and eat it quickly before it melts all over you. Don't eat it too quickly, or you'll get a headache.

Advantages: Great taste.

Disadvantages: Calories, fat and cholesterol.

Variations: Try a sundae, milkshake or frozen yogurt.

3. Lemonade. This drink cools you off not simply because it's cold liquid served with ice, but because of some mysterious chemistry between lemon, sugar and the human tongue. A lemon is, well, a cool fruit.