Imagine my surprise when I innocently picked up Wednesday's Crimson--only to find that queer folk such as moi-mem (and how better to show off my own queerly piquant style than to do it in French?) "undermine civilization." Qui, moi? Responsible for the decline and fall of civilizations from east to west and back again? My, my, but I have been a busy, busy girl. All that time I was supposed to be off writing my too-too fabulous dissertation, I was actually fiddling while Rome burned. I obviously do not have my priorities, er, straight. Calgon, take me away...

Oh, but I have gotten ahead of myself, haven't I? (It's an occupational hazard of those who--like me--are members of the avantgarde.) Just in case you happened to miss the news event of the season, let me bring you up to speed. According to Professor Harvey Mansfield, homosexuals are "stunted" and "shameless." But--and here's the good news for all you culture vultures--we have contributed to American society by excelling in the arts and by being a shimmering example of stylish non-conformity. (So, I guess when we're stunted and shameless, we're just having a bad hair day?)

How original! How utterly daring! Professor Mansfield's insights (I am being generous) left me faintly breathless with delight. I mean, who would have dreamed of linking homosexuals to the arts? Oscar Wilde, perhaps? Susan Sontag? I am a little worried though; I mean there is so much pressure to be fabulous all the time. It's not easy being envies. (Professor Mansfield is at least spared that huge headache.)

I am also a tad confused by something else the Herr Professor said, namely that one of the "proofs" of heterosexual superiority is procreation. Heterosexuals have children; homosexuals do not. The mind boggles. I am sure Professor Mansfield's claims will come as quite a shock to the thousands of gay men and lesbians in this country who do in fact have children. Equally shocked will be the countless heterosexuals who have no plans to "breed." Unfortunately, Mansfield has confused the charge to reproduce the species (a charge, by the way, which an over populated planet might well wish to apply with caution) with his own obvious talent for reproducing the specious. This homosexual is more than happy (she is even "gay") to leave the latter "reproduction" to the likes of Harvey Mansfield. Ann Pellegrini '86