The Cambridge Board of Election Commissioners has decided that their authority to run all aspects of Cambridge elections even includes telling election workers when they may use the bathroom.

This year ballots will be counted at the Longfellow School, where the headmistress has instructed students to run if they see an adult in the bathroom.

To prevent problems, Commissioner Sondra Scheir suggested limiting worker restroom use to the lunch and dinner hours.

"We should try to monitor our use of the facilities at all times," she said, adding that as adults election workers should be able to control themselves. Whatever happened to "When you've gotta go, you've gotta go?"

Shouting Down The Masses

You can walk in the Yard, sunbathe in the Yard, and run to class in the Yard, but don't you dare scream with a loudspeaker or you'll hear the gods of University Hall thundering.

Two reporters caught a glimpse of this wrath last week during an interview with Dean of the Faculty Jeremy R. Knowles.

Near the end of the interview, while the dean was applauding the virtues of the English language and the University's writing program, a bellowing voice was heard from the Yard.

The dean walked to the window, peered outside, and opening the door to his assistant's room, ordered, Will you have this person silenced! This is inappropriate in the Yard."

As can be expected from inquisitive Crimson journalists, the reporters asked what exactly the "silencing" would entail.

No precise answer was given, but the dean continued that if people could now walk in the Yard with loudspeakers, it would be a "madhouse."

The voice, we discovered, belonged to a tour guide who was giving prospective Harvard students a tour of the campus with a microphone.

And little did the guide know that while she was showing students University Hall--the lofty decision-making branch of the Harvard Faculty--the dean himself was screaming disapproval from his second-floor window.

The interview continued with no further interruptions, but the dean said that he would discover what campus organization or outside travel agency was causing the ruckus.

What will be the penalty for disturbing the dean?

Thank You for Using AT&T

As the tutor conflict in Dunster House continues, so does the ongoing struggle to contact officials in the house.

Last week a Crimson reporter called Master Karel F. Liem's office and asked to leave a message. The secretary agreed, but then the reporter started to spell his name.

"Oh, yeah [reporter's first name], we won't be taking your calls. Okay? Goodbye." Then she hung up.

But last week a reporter caught a break.

Liem spoke with the Crimson for the first time this year last Tuesday night. After the interview the reporter asked whether his secretary would take messages when he called.

"If you print what I told you, I will tell her to take messages from you," Liem said.

So much for polite hangups.