When Harvard medical student Paul Lozano became depressed and homesick, he contacted the first psychiatrist on a list provided by the school--Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry Margaret H. Bean-Bayog '65.

Lozano, the son of Mexican immigrants, was depressed because he felt out of place at the Medical School. He was worried about not being up to the challenge of becoming a doctor, according to his family and some doctors.

"Paul said he felt out of place, like a little fish in a big pond. He was afraid he was not up to snuff," says Amy Stromsten, a social worker who advised him between 1987 and 1991.

But Lozano's story is no typical tale of a student's bout with a Harvard inferiority complex. This past week, it exploded into a media spectacle that has attracted national attention.

One year ago yesterday, Lozano killed himself with a series of cocaine injections. The 28-year-old died three months before he would have graduated.

The Lozano family field a wrongful death and malpractice suit against Bean-Bayog last November. They claim that psychiatrist used unethical medical practices, had sex with Lozano and made him pretend to be her three-year-old child.

The family says Bean-Bayog seduced Lozano and lured him into dependence, and caused him to commit suicide by terminating the affair and the therapy.

Bean-Bayog told Lozano that she had adopted a baby and didn't have time for him anymore, according to Pilar Williams, Lozano's sister.

Bean-Bayog completely denies any wrongdoing in her treatment of Lozano, although she acknowledges that her methods were "unique and somewhat unconventional."

She says the unusual therapy was necessary because Lozano was a "severely mentally ill" patient. Regression therapy was used only after a year of conventional treatment proved unsuccessful, she says.

In a statement issued by her lawyer on Tuesday, Bean-Bayog said she believed she provided Lozano with "life-sustaining treatment for four years."

Contrasting Portraits

Bean-Bayog and the Lozano family paint two sharply contrasting portraits of the medical student.

Bean-Bayog describes Lozano as a chronic liar and thief, harboring "homicidal, violent and delusional thoughts." She says he was "completely out of control" at times and that he had problems with alcohol and drug abuse.

Bean-Bayog also said Lozano told her he was the victim of "horrendous child abuse."

But Stromsten stepped forward Wednesday with a very different description of Lozano. She says he was a "likeable young man" who was easy-going, somewhat shy, and not at all violent.

Stromsten, who first met Lozano when he was a patient at McLean Hospital in 1987, said Lozano was "totally competent" and that he had no history of psychiatric problems before seeing Bean-Bayog.

Stromsten said she decided to come forward because she was angry about Bean-Bayog's mischaracterizations, untrue statements and attacks on Paul Lozano's character."

Dr. Thomas W. Watkins, Lozano's pediatrician between 1970 and 1979, says he saw no evidence of abuse of any sort in the Lozano children. He emphasizes the fact that the Lozanos had gone 25 miles out of their way to bring their children to a specialist.

"They were very nice, friendly people," says Watkins. "I remember them because there were very few established minorities here at the time."

In the face of such conflicting reports, more than one authority has decided to wait for the court's decision on the matter.

In an emergency meeting Monday, the State Board of Registration in Medicine decided not to suspend Bean-Bayog, pending the court verdict.

And though the Medical School has placed Bean-Bayog on an administrative leave of absence and cancelled her referrals, it too will wait for the results of the court's investigation before taking any conclusive action.